GAME OF RULES

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games – Evan Esar

CANDIDATE

From the start of our life we are told to grow up. Man up. Straighten up. Behave. We are told what to do. Consciously or unconsciously our parents want us to blend in, be like everybody else. We’re supposed to be nice and have good grades.

Our ‘highly developed’ society has the most bizarre preconceived demeanor towards new members of our tribe. Instead of saying Hi and welcome to the world we are dragging them into a game. The game is all about playing by the rules. It’s our game and our rules. Only we, as adults are allowed to make those rules.

PROBATION
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Every sentence is the result of a long probation – Henry David Thoreau

We say to the baby: We want to tell what the rules are, so you could find your way around our world but remember to play by the rules. When you get older you may be able to invent better rules.     

Unwittingly we put our child on probation. He didn’t deserve to be a member of society yet. He’s not really a human. It’s like he is just a contender to become a human being. This is a trial with numerous judges giving all those grades, marks and making assumption about the future of the baby.

THE SYSTEM
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system – Bruce Lee

This notion is supported by the whole system of preparation for life. System of preparation children for the game but never letting them play. We prepare them to sit on the bench until they fully grow up.

We start from putting our child to nursery as a preparation for kindergarten. Kindergarten is just preparation for the first grade. Then you go up and prepare for junior high and the high school.

The next level is college. If you’re fascinated by this system, or if you were told by your parents, or if you’re totally lost and you don’t have the tiniest clue what you want your life to be about, you go to college or university. If you go there expecting to be enlighten, in many cases end up being even more rigged into the system.

THE GAME
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

If people understood how the economic system works, there’d be a revolution in a minute – Henry Ford

After graduation we want our children to go out into the World. What actually means go find a job and live like everybody else. We get enormously upset if after all those years of preparation our children are still not able to blend in, be mediocre, be vanilla.

They’ve been training for this their whole life. But never had a chance to test their abilities because they were not allowed to play this game. They were told Not yet. Wait few more years. When you get older you’ll understand.

Once they start their first job this story starts from the beginning. They find themselves on probation again. Just watch, learn but play by the rules. Maybe after another 25 years, just maybe, you will climb the corporate ladder and you will be able to make a few new rules on your own. Doesn’t this sound great? Unfortunately, once you reach your destination, your peak, it doesn’t feel much better. It’s not what you’ve dreamed of. It’s not what you’ve expected. It’s all more less the same. Life is the same. Nothing major changed. You’re not happier. You don’t have more freedom. You still have to play by the rules.

THE TRUTH
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Making plans for the future is of use to people who are capable of living completely in the present – Alan Watts

The final preparation in the system is the preparation for retirement. You are told that you will be respected senior member of the tribe. You will have the wealth and all the time you need to be happy. You will be allowed to do what you always wanted to. You will be allowed to ignore some rules.

It’s all well and good but at the same time you will have artificial hip, false teeth, a lot less hair, if any, a lot more irritating diseases, a memory problems and a massive dipper on your butt. Good luck with doing all the things you dreamed off then.

The truth is this system is a skim from the start all the way to the end. You are a sad little pawn being moved in the biggest, most outlandish and ludicrous game of all.  

Now don’t get me wrong, I play this game myself just like every other human on earth. What I want you to think about is the notion of playing by your own rules. Break some rules. Go your own path. Be yourself.

Do you really want to play by the rules?

(Not) so SMART

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will get you everywhere – Albert Einstein

ARE YOU SMART?

Do you like to feel smart? How about your goals, do you like them to be smart?

SMART goals are a highly contagious mantra. It spreads very quickly throughout your body and mind. What’s more worrying is that it is a deadly disease. It’s deadly to your ambition, it’s deadly to your creativity, it’s deadly to your Vision.

We are constantly told that our goals need to be simple and achievable. As dehumanized corporation machine teaches us, our goal needs to be SMART – simple, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-based. As far as your personal life that’s a complete bullshit. Especially that idea of only aiming to what’s achievable now.

Your capabilities can change from in the matter of day. Sometimes you just need to go around the corner. Sometimes you just need another breakthrough. What was impossible and unimaginable yesterday, is within your reach today.  

You don’t have to live your life in cubicle of corporation mindset. It is so scary how our lives and our culture got fixed around SMART goals. Everything has got to be specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, time bound. Very powerful left brain thinking way. We are dominated by realism. Realistic goals, spread sheets, check lists, white boards all those things help us accomplish small tasks and tiny goals but nothing more. This path won’t take you to your dreams or your vision.

YOUR REALISM KILLS YOUR OPTIMISM?

You don’t have to live your life in cubicle of corporation mindset. It is so scary how our lives and our culture got fixed around SMART goals. Everything has got to be specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, time bound. Very powerful left brain thinking way. We are dominated by realism. Realistic goals, spread sheets, check lists, white boards all those things help us accomplish small tasks and tiny goals but nothing more. This path won’t take you to your dreams or your vision.

OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do – Walter Begehot

There is a down side to all that pragmatic and realistic thinking. Our goals and visions became so tiny, that often times there’s nothing compelling and inspiring about them. We are constantly conditioned to play by the rules and go along with everything that works already. I refuse to play by book and you should too.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU PLAY AGAINST ALL ODDS?

When was the last time you have shoot for the moon? Have you ever? Smart goals have nothing to do with your dreams. You are constantly limiting and restricting yourself by not dreaming big. Your chaining yourself to your present situation, present set of skills and knowledge, present life. If your goal is just a checklist you are not going to go for your dream. It has to be something that is compelling and important to you.

The biggest achievements in human history, most successful companies, biggest endeavors didn’t start with smart goals. There was nothing attainable or realistic about them. Those ideas were turning the world over. Was the dream of flying attainable when Wright brothers started going for it? Was it smart to think we are going to land on the moon? Those were impossible dreams.  You’re small thinking doesn’t benefit anyone.

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

If we can’t handle the worst, then we don’t deserve the best – Anonymous

How far you can fall? Clearly define the worst thing and you will realize that the reality isn’t really that bad. Define the worst outcome and you’ll soon start to see how ridiculous most of your worries are. Get busy with what you love and your brain won’t have time to worry.

In every process you have to bring the goal down and measure it but don’t start from that. The time for being realistic, analytical and pragmatic will come later. Don’t be scared to think at the level that is ambitious, courageous, bold. Go to that place of uncertainty first and then you will find yourself where you really want to be. Sometimes you have to be nuts! Start with the dream and how to do it will come later.

I HAVE NO TIME

Posted 3 CommentsPosted in 3 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst – William Penn

ULTIMATE LIE

The biggest excuse in human history is: I have no time. You’re constantly telling yourself you have no time. Be honest and think do you fall for that as well? I know I did. Actually I didn’t even fall for that because I was living in that rabbit hole. I have no time is the biggest lie you will ever hear. What’s even more sad and disappointing it comes out of you as well. We all have the same 24 hours, 1 440 minutes and 86 400 seconds in a day.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS HOW WE USE OUR TIME

When you say you don’t have time, it actually means that something else was more important to you. Do you even realize what that was? You can fool me but you won’t fool yourself.

If you ever catch yourself on thinking I have no time to do it stop immediately. Do you really want or need to do it? If the answer is NO, just say This is not something I want or need to do. If it’s YES, then decide when you’re going to do it.

DECIDE ON YOUR PRIORITIES

Clean it up. Change your to-do list into a map of your priorities. Put it in the center scope of your focus. First, take the big items, the rocks of your life, the things that will give you most significant outcomes and schedule them. Then commit to some block time for those actions that matters to you. Commit to the most important things and then schedule those other items.

Block times can move. Scheduled times can’t. With scheduled times you have made a commitment to another person and you can’t move it by yourself. That’s why it’s so crucial to do all the things that are important to you first.

WAKEY! WAKEY!

HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU WASTE?
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Lost time is never found again -  Benjamin Franklin

Out of our lack of focus, lack of responsibility, lack direction and our detachment we literally waste our life. How much time do you really waste? How much time a day? On average we are distracted for about 4-5 hours every day just by watching TV and browsing internet. And you have the guts to say I don’t have time for this or that. This just isn’t true. Of course you have time but you prefer to be lazy. That is cold heart truth but someone had to tell you that.

THAT 4 HOURS A DAY IS CLOSE TO 13 YEARS DURING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE

13 years. Wake up. Now it stopped being funny, right? We miss 13 years of experience, learning, grow, giving, sharing, exploring new places.

We like to repeat over and over again that Life is short and we have short time to live. Wouldn’t it be great to start saying Life is long enough to accomplish whatever I can dream of.

YOU’VE GOT TIME!

WAKEY! WAKEY!

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 2 minute read
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up – Paul Valéry

Hey you, open your eyes and get up. You think you have your eyes opened and you are standing up, but you’re not. You are still lying comfortably under your fluffy, soft quilt. You are still dreaming in your bed with your eyes wide shut. Doing that is not getting you anywhere close to your dream, your vision. What are you waiting for? Should someone else do it for you?

You don’t have to believe my word, but nothing is going to happen in your life. Nothing.  This perfect opportunity is not going to come. Not now. Maybe never.

Do you want to spend your life in your bed? Yes, it’s easy and convenient now but it’s going to expire. We all have an expiration date build in somewhere and no one wants to waste their life.

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!

Well, I came here to tell you that.

What if you were to be told you’re going to die in three months, how would your life changed? How would your thoughts and attitude change? How would your decisions change? How would your actions change?

Wake the f*** up! Take what’s in front and you work your face off.

You will trip and fall many time. Your Journey will be stacked with obstacles. It’s going to easier to you once you face that fact. You can’t run away from all of your problems. They will catch you sooner or later and if you will give them time to grow they will get much bigger, deeper and stronger. Face your problems right away. Face them NOW. Use your problems, difficulties or issues as an opportunity.

NO REGRETS
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now – Napoleon Hill

How easy it to wake up, stand up and start living your life?

The number one regret people have on the death bed is: I wish I had a courage to live the live I was destined to live. That I had a purpose in life.

Don’t let this happen.