CREATURES OF PATTERNS

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creatures of patterns
creatures of patterns

Don’t trust words. Question actions. But never doubt patterns - Unknown

Human beings are creatures of patterns. We move in certain way, certain fashion, in certain direction. We tend to follow the same paths. We have our eating patterns. We interact and respond in a certain way. We do certain thing at a certain time. We are creatures of patterns. We should be using that fact to our advantage when we build our habits.

 

Movement pattern

When I was working for a tax consulting company I was going to the gym 4 times a week after work. I know it’s hard to believe since no one seen my upper body muscles for quite some time. I was going to the gym 4 out of 5 times on my way back home.  That was my pattern of moving. From home, to work, to gym, to home. There was no space to say I don’t feel like going today. I don’t have time or I need to rest. No. Once I took my gym bag there was no other option for me than go for a workout. Right after I came back home from the gym I was making sure to prepare my gym bag for next day. I was placing the bag in front of the doors to make it visible. It was all automatic. There was no pain or doubt in deciding if I want to work out. I was always in the mood to work out.

After changing my job, the pattern of my movement changed. My paths changed. My schedule changed. In the result the habits that were connected with this job, those trigger that I have squeezed into my path, my movement, my schedule, have fallen apart.

 

Some things stay the same

At that time, I was not aware of those triggers or actually any triggers at all. I was only focusing on the desired action of working out. Because of this lack of awareness and not focusing my attention in the right direction, it took me few months to get back to working out during the work week. This may come to you as a surprise but I was still working out on the weekends as I did before. By now you probably figured out that it is because my weekend patterns have not changed. Same movement, same path, same habits, same triggers. That is quite a good example how you can use patterns in your advantage when you actually want to set new triggers.

 

Deep seated belief

Now let me show you a different example from my life as well. This is an example of bad habit and limiting belief. Unfortunately, it this example the triggers were also working great. When I was coming back home from work in the bank I was always extremely stressed and anxious. I felt I needed and deserved a rest, that’s fair right? I was convinced that watching a movie, after my wife will put my son to bed will de-stress me and relief me from my problems. Almost every day I was watching a movie or TV series in the evening. I had deep seated certainty that this helps me to chill out. Forgetting about your problems doesn’t make them vanish.

 

Dark side of triggers

I had a trigger that was launching my habit when my son was falling asleep. That was my pattern, my frame. Until my trigger was pulled I was not allowing myself to rest, de-stress and feel the joy of being with my family. Unfortunately, I was not aware of that. That was the dark side of my de-stress habit. You can guess how this have affected my family and myself. Actually until my son went to bed I was still mentally at this work I have hated so much. That sounds really serious and believe me it was. Your habits and your triggers are highly responsible for how you behave and who you actually are.  

 

Your default settings

Take some time to figure out what are your paths. When you enter them and when you leave them. Start paying attention to all the same thing you do at the same time every day. Once you do that you can aim at triggers it themselves. Setting up more trigger moments will change your life completely. Triggers look like this: When you see something you do this, when this action is taken, then that happens. Interrupt your patterns and stick to your habits, stick to your Journey. Once you become mindful and purposeful with your behaviors, you will witness a massive change in your life. What is the first habit and trigger you are going to change?

 

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HACK YOUR TRIGGERS

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OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Hacker believe that something can always be better, and that nothing is ever complete – Mark Zuckerberg

What actually happens when your trigger is activated? That’s quite simple. Your mind and body is reminded of your habit.

Ok but how do you trigger your habits? What trigger moments you can set up during the day to keep you on track? How often your trigger should appear? Let’s hack your triggers.

 

What’s missing?

It is essential to have the right strategy, engaging system, reliable triggers, bulletproof habits, outstanding motivation, however it is still not enough. We might have all those things listed above but we still won’t behave the way we want. You probably wonder What are you missing?

 

Applicability

Applicability? What do I mean by that? It is the capacity to take that action without considerable obstruction. Sit on this idea for a moment. What kind of actions do you execute more often in your day to day life? The ones that are complicated and demanding or the ones that are easy and quick? The answer is obvious. There is no doubt about the fact that easy actions are the overwhelming majority of our behaviors. Usually the action we were taking before was way too complicated. In most case­s with the first serious obstacle we just quit. It is automatic. It is not easy.  The level of ease or difficulty of executing a certain action will affect the possibility of following through. The easier and simpler your designed action will be; the bigger chances you give yourself to succeed.

 

Hack your design

Having that in mind we need to look on the action you want to take. 

Let’s hack your design. Break it to pieces. Write down all the necessary steps to take this desired action. Think about it carefully. Write it one by one. Take your time. You need to write right now. Stop reading!

What’s number one? Two? Three? Four? What’s left?

Do you have everything mapped in place? Go through it again. Haven’t you miss anything?

Ok. Which step is not necessary? Choose one. Cross it from the sequence of your behavior. Great. Now we simply need to start removing step until you end up with the shortest possible sequence.

 

Remove

If you think it’s easier said than done, allow me to show you how you can do it. From all the steps you have listed select three that are most important in your mind. Now take off the one that is not essential for taking that action. Than take off another one. Is there a step in your sequence that can be done a day or few days before or after? Cross it from your list and make sure to make a habit out of doing it before the action. If there are any obstacles standing in the way of your ability to take action, remove them. If you want to go running in the morning before going work you can for example prepare you outfit, your shoes, set up your alarm clock and on and on. This will cut the steps from your morning sequence and it will make it much easier and more applicable. It’s up to you to help yourself to act. Not me or anyone else is going to help you. You are on your own buddy.   

 

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PULL YOUR TRIGGER

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pull your trigger
PULL YOUR TRIGGER

Be sure you positively identify your target before you pull the trigger – Tom Flynn

Your target (your vision) has to be driven by behaviors. Set up triggers to make you do it. Create as many of them as possible. Triggers are crucial and actually they are one of the most overlooked factors in the whole process. Most of us are not aware of triggers and we don’t understand how they work. Which means that we are not able to consciously pull your trigger.

 

Activators

If you truly want to create and maintain your new habit set up as many triggers as you can. You can think them through, place them in your vision, write them on the plan of your Journey, in your journal but in a day to day life it will not be enough. It is essential that you develop your ‘trigger moments’. Triggers turn on the power of habits. They are activators of your behavior. They are that spark which starts your engine. Triggers come in two types: external that comes out of your environment and internal that is not connected to the outside world. In essence, trigger moments are cues that remind you to activate your intentions or habits.

 

Reminders

It’s one thing to have the intention to do something and its totally different pair of shoes to set up your triggers. You can start with good intentions but without the right strategy you will fail painfully again and again. It’s one thing to want to be a better husband or a father, but another to setup a mental trigger that every time you come back home from work before you open the door you say to yourself: This is my home. I love my family. I am so happy. You need things that will trigger you to remind yourself to be that particular kind of person.

 

Door frame

Brendon Burchard talks about great technic you can use to set really strong trigger in enormous quantity. The Door frame trigger. Every time you cross any door frame you say to yourself three words. Say to yourself the things that will describe the way you want to be. How you want to think or act? What three words you want to be described by? You can set different triggers to different door frames (door frame of your home, meeting room, car door etc.). It will remind you who you want to be.

 

Anchors

Imagine that you have this little man on your shoulders, telling you all day what to do and how to be. Wouldn’t life be easier? How about taking actions? How would your life be like if you would have those little anchors everywhere you look? Whatever happen, wherever you are, you would have something to grasp and to go for?  How would this make you feel? Wouldn’t you feel more confident and calm?   

 

Changing default settings

When a particular situation happens, you immediately do or think a specific thing. That is how a trigger should work. Whatever you want to achieve in your life - better health, more energy, more clarity - set your triggers to activate your habits. Triggers are just simple settings that must launch you habits instantly. So they need to be as simple as possible. The other necessity for the trigger to be effective, is the high frequency of its occurrence during the day. One or two times a day is not enough.

 

Trigger moments

You can do something as simple as setting up alarms on your phone that will trigger you to do the very things you need to do. Set at least three alarms that will make you close your eyes, take deep breaths and remind yourself what are your goal, ground rules or what you really need to do. That will give you a chance to rest. You need to have that moments throughout the day that will trigger you to do the desired new behavior. It can be as simple as a note on your monitor at work (read more). Don’t think that your habit will trigger itself. It won’t. 

 

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HAPPINESS

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HAPPINESS

There is no excuse to feel unhappy, upset or angry – !NOW!

Your choice

Our culture celebrates victimhood like never before. We celebrate people who are drama queens because it’s fun to watch on TV. People do it to get attention and to feel significant. But you don’t have to be that way. Be different. Chose happiness instead.

Make it your goal to meet the demands of the time, the demands of the moment with a smile on your face. Master your own mind, master your own attitude. You are the commander of your own attitude. You get to choose the energy that you feel and bring into a certain moment. You don’t have happiness, you don’t have joy, you choose to generate happiness, you chose to generate joy. The more energy you generate to serve or deal with the difficulties, the more you will respect yourself. The more you say I can handle this or I’ve got this, the less you will feel overwhelmed.

 

Progress

What really is happiness? My definition is extremely short. Happiness is progress. That’s it. If you’re constantly improving, getting better, getting closer you’re going to love it. You’re going to feel alive. On the other hand, you can be extremely successful but if you will stop growing you will start dying inside.

How do you feel when you get to your goal? Excited and fulfilled? Maybe for a month, a week or few days. What happens after that? You get used to your prize and it becomes just your everyday reality. If you don’t get better, if you don’t grow further, create another goal and progress towards your vision, you will not stay it the state of happiness.

 

It’s the climb not the peak

And there are really two kinds of people. You are either stressfully running after the instant prize or you joyfully climb yourself up. Step by step to your magnificent vision. Happiness isn’t in the peak. Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak. You set up that powerful vision, that great goal which is the peak, and then you go on a Journey that leads you there while you stay present to the moment on the journey.

 

More is not your answer

If you will turn your expectations for appreciation, the whole new world will appear instantly. If you cannot find happiness in this moment, in a conversation with a friend, looking in your wife’s eyes, being with your children, going for a run, if you cannot find it now, more money, more people, more love, more business, more anything is not give you that. It’s not going to give you more happiness. If you cannot do it here and now you are not going to do it there when you got more. So why don’t you do it now and have a rich life right now? You can decide to be happy now. Make your three decision(link) consciously. Happiness is a decision and choice. You really can have it now. Why don’t you do it now?

 

Step back

Your happiness starts right now. I left my job making good money, having two little kids, mortgage because I needed my mental health to be happy. I was willing to take a step back and I believe that in a 7-year period I won.

When people are 60 or 90 they don’t care about it. We would be surprised how little it matters.   

Unbelievable happiness comes from self-belief and recognizing how this’ll play out.

Please take a step back and realize how awesome life actually is.

 

Make yourself happy first

There are some many people not doing what they love because they are worried about what other people think. When you’re playing a different game then everybody else peer pressure doesn’t even have a shot at you. Love yourself first and feel good with yourself first.

Start building those skills and don’t listen to your parents, your teachers, your friends. Respect it but don’t let anybody impose their way on you. It’s you. You’re with yourself for ever and make yourself happy first.

 

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happiness

5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

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5 THINGS TO RAISE YOUR STANDARDS
5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

If we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us – William Feather

Past and Future

If you truly want to raise our standards you need to become present. There are two main obstacles to become present. Your past and your future. How do you reconcile those two and what are 5 things to raise your standards?

First and foremost, you need to set powerful goals. You need to create powerful vision to keep you going when motivation will finally fail you. And it will fail you sooner than you think.

Climbing the hill

There are really two kinds of people. You are either running anxiously after the instant prize or you joyfully climb yourself up, step by step to your magnificent vision. Happiness isn’t way up there. It isn’t on the peak. Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak. You set up that powerful vision that great goal which reflects your peak. Then you go on a Journey that leads you there while you stay present to the moment.

5 things to raise standards

Let me tell you why this is so important. Every day you live up to your standards. Every day you agree to this kind of life. You agree to pain, frustration, fear, stagnation.

Once you raise your standards in these 5 areas, and you will improve your life dramatically:

1. Health.

Have you ever said, this is going to be the year I get in the best health and shape of my life? For real this is the year to do it. Improve your health and almost automatically you will become happier and more energized and more effective. Raise your standards on how much sleep you get and how well you eat. Take care of your body. Step by step built strong foundation in your body, so that your mind could benefit. Don’t let body be your limit. Make it your tool.

2. Focus. 

Distractions are stealing our lives. We are serious addicts of distraction and we need to get it under control. Get more focused on what you desire in this hour, this day, this life. Don’t focus on whatever comes your way. Bring your awareness to this moment and what you want to be doing and experiencing now. That will help you be more conscious and you will spot distractions a lot easier.

3. Courage. 

Where you are in life right now is a direct reflection of how bold you've been up to this point. How bravely you share yourself, your ideas, your needs and dreams with the world? How courageous have you been to fight after you've failed? Demand of yourself to have more courage. I promise you'll feel more confident and influential over time. Courage is not something you’re born with. No one will give it to. Neither you can buy it nor it’s free. Remember courage is a habit. You can learn it by continually trying. Don’t feel ashamed you have failed, feel ashamed if you didn’t try.

4. Joy. 

Do you expect that you're going to have fun today? How about life in general? Better yet, do you demand of yourself to be the person who brings the joy, who brings fun and helps others have fun no matter what? Joy is a choice not a coincidental blessing. Bring the joy!

5. Kindness. 

Often times people are so driven and distracted that they've often lost the awareness to be kind to others. Kindness is compassion activated - you actually show you care through your actions. Raising your standard here will help you reach higher levels of happiness, service, and humanity. You will be able to connect deeply with more people.

How much longer?

How much pain, frustration, fear or stress are you willing to take? What are you willing to settle for? What do you expect from life? Rise your standard and become a different breed. Rise your standards in those 5 areas of life and live a happy life right now.

 

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5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

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SECRETS OF SUCCESSUL PEOPLE

Successful people are simply those with successful habits – Brian Tracy

Top secret

Successful people come in all shapes, sizes and in widely varying degrees of intelligence, background but they all have something in common. They expect more good out of life than bad. They expect to succeed, not to fail. There are a lot more reason why you can have it, than there are why you cannot. Get out there to earn it. Go after it. Work at it. Ask for it. Persevere. Grind. Is that anything new? No, secrets of successful people are all those things most people are too lazy to do. 

Successful mindset

Our environment is really a reflection of our mental attitude. If you don’t like what you see you need to change your attitude first. Successful people radiate confidence, assurance, they expect success and they get success. You can spot them by the way they walk, by the way the look and act. You can feel it about them when they enter a room. They have the attitude of success.

8 secrets

Harv Eker have described the 8 secrets of rich and successful people in his book Secrets of the millionaire. According to Eker all successful have following things in common:

1. Successful people think big.

Unsuccessful people think small. Think bigger. Get your ambition and multiply it by ten. The size of your success is limited only by the size of your thinking’– David Schwartz.

2. Successful people focus on opportunity.

Unsuccessful people focus on obstacles. Most of people take a tiny issue and turn into a humongous problem. They focus on what’s wrong and they run a whole story around it.

3. Successful people marvel at other successful people.

Unsuccessful people grudge rich and successful people. Unsuccessful often think and say: They don’t deserve it or They got luck.

4. Successful people are willing to promote themselves and their value.

Unsuccessful people think negative about any kind of selling or promotion. We live in a world where if you want to achieve anything you need to be a great salesman and marketer. You either sale your work results, services, products, knowledge, expertise, art, attention or time. It’s about time to realize that you are a salesman.

5. Successful people choose to get paid based on results.

Unsuccessful people choose to get paid based on time. Successful people are confident in their skills, in their craft and they are willing to be paid upon what they deliver.

6. Successful people manage their money well.

Unsuccessful people mismanage their money even better. This is the idea I struggle the most. Of course I believe it’s necessary to manage your money wisely to be successful long term. However, I am actually pretty sure many successful people, especially athletes, are terrible in managing their money. Success just like money can last a minute or a lifetime.

7. Successful people have their money work hard for them.

Unsuccessful people work hard for their money. Invest wisely. Invest not only money but also time and effort. Invest in your personal brand or the growth of your company.

8. Successful people constantly learn and grow.

Unsuccessful people think they already know. Life is a Journey of learning, exploring and experiencing.

Envisioning

Devote 5 to 10 minutes every day to see yourself being successful. Every day start from that vision. Do not wait for it to happen. Do not wait to see it. Sight is for people who live in the present. Instead of sight you need to have vision. Make it happen before it happens.

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SECRETS OF SUCCESSUL PEOPLE

MAGIC FORMULA

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OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

You don’t run 26 miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and secret recipe – Frank Shorter

Do you believe in magic in a real life? Do you believe in wizards and fairies? How about magic wand? Do you really think it only takes one great shot to hit all those different targets? No? So why do you like to look for those magic elements that let others to succeed? Like e.g. 5 things that will make you successful or How to get rich fast and on and on. Some of you think there’s got to be some secret in it. There’s got to be something, right?  That’s very convenient on your side. Most of the people say: Those people know something that I don’t know. They have something I don’t have. I would be able to do it. or They’ve just got lucky. Well, I will disappoint you, there is no magic, no secret in it and very limited amount of luck.

HOW ABOUT A SHORTCUT?

Seriously? Are you for real? There are no shortcuts. People think there is some sort of quick move, some sort of algorithm or magic formula that will get you there. How about a teleport to success or a magic spell? Again NO.  It doesn’t exist. I’m here to tell you that this is one of the most misunderstood concepts. It doesn’t happen like that. If you think that’s how anything can be done you just waste your energy. You waste your time. You waste your life.

You will not get in shape by taking a shortcut. You will not get healthy by taking a shortcut. You will not get a promotion by taking a shortcut. Your great idea will not magically evolve into a business. It will not. Accept it and go to work.

NOTHING IS FREE
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard – Kevin Durant, NBA 2014 Most Valuable Player

Nothing happens overnight. When you see greatness in someone you often think that is a pure talent or a great gift. You don’t see and or think about massive amount of hard work behind it. Nothing is free. Why don’t you believe it? Why are you still waiting?

EASIEST PATH
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Genius is 1 percent talent and 99 percent hard work - Albert Einstein

I found it to be true in every aspect of my life. You heard it so many time and you still don’t believe it, do you? Why? Because it’s the easiest thing to do and let’s face it most of us are just lazy. Sorry to say that but that the cold, hard truth. That’s how we are developed by centuries of evolution. We take the easiest path. What’s even worse, we take a break on the side of that path and sit there for a few years.  Some of us sits there for the rest of our life and wait to be rescued. We want to be given a chance but we don’t do anything to create it for ourselves.

Only you can give you a chance. Only you can rescue you. Only YOU!

EXPECTATIONS

If you ask anyone Do you want to be successful?  Do you want to live a life of contribution? Do you want to accomplish your vison, achieve you goal, fulfil your dreams? Do you want to be better father? Do you want to be healthier? Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be happy? Everybody will say YES! The true expectations don’t show up in your word but in your behavior and in your actions. I can tell what do you expect by what you do. Your behavior when nobody’s watching. It takes tons and tons of work. There will be a million reasons why not but there’s one great reason WHY. This your vision, your dream. Preserver and stay focused.

It’s not free. There is no magic to it. No magic formula. No shortcuts.

The only secret is HARD WORK!