5 minute read

OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Every master was once a disaster - T. Harv Eker

#ONE

What’s stopping you from taking action? Why do you keep procrastinating? The number one thing stopping all of us from taking any sort of action is fear of failure. We are engineered to avoid pain and we associate fear with pain. From our first days in schools we are being wired not to fail. Our modern societies prize and appreciate only the students who finish on the first try. How about those who make it last? Those who are overcoming fear of failure, fail ten times in a row but stay tenacious and keep on going?

IT’S OK

How to overcome fear of failure? Make it OK to fail. Failure means progress. Don’t be fearful of failing because that’s an inevitable part of learning. Fears are just simple thoughts that we turn into complex problems. We are rerunning the same problems over and over in our head. Rethinking it and not making any decision. What leads to associating pain to this matter. The true failure is not taking action at all. Lack of action is my worst fear.

LACK OF CONTROL

The number one reason for most of fears is lack of control over our mind and our mental state. If you don’t take full control over your mind, you are just simply sitting on a time bomb. I can assure you that if you don’t be conscious and deliberate in your actions, one-day this time bomb will explode. Then you will truly suffer. Then you will wish you did something earlier but it’s going to be too late.   

EXPOSE YOUR FEAR

Our capabilities are much more powerful than most of us think. We truly have the power to control our fear. Let’s start doing that from defining what is fear actually? What we are so scared of? What and how it’s going to hurt us? Once you answer to all those questions you will be able to understand it and then it will not be so scary anymore. The more you understand something, the more confidence you have in that area. Ignorance and unawareness are the fuel to that fear machine.

Stop pouring fuel into machine that is killing your action potential.  Stop thinking about your fear. Fear is not physical. The only place your fear exists is your mind. Nowhere else. Your mind. Change your mindset.

TYPES OF PAIN

We must change our focus. To be able to reorient our mindset we have to be aware of there are three types of pain that we fear:

 

1. Loss pain.

We fear that if we do this new thing or change any part of your life we will experience loss. Because of that we like to say: I don’t want to do it. I’m scared to try it because I might loss something that I like, I might loss my job, my relationship, my security, I might loss that predictability of my life. Part of reorienting your life is to start focusing on the things that you are going to gain instead of the things you are going to loss. I might loss the sense of security for a short period but in a long term I will gain freedom.  

 

2. Process pain.   

It’s hard to make any major change in life. Regardless of the area of your life the process of change is hard and it requires a lot of effort. Doing anything new is hard. I bet it was hard to learn to read, right? You probably don’t remember that. How about learning a new language? Swimming? Driving a car? Was it easy?

At first you don’t know how to do those thing. You don’t have any competency in those areas yet. Being a total newbie you don’t even know what you don’t know. You’re not sure how it’s going to go. It is all very scary, that’s why so many times we don’t take that risk and we don’t try to change.

Try to see that process of change as a game. Challenges as the best way to learn and develop new skills. It can be fun, joyful, and new. Look forward to the process change.  

 

3. Result pain.

In the end we fear the final effect is not going to be what we have expected. We think what if we do all those thing and we don’t succeed, we will be a failure. What happen then?

Many times we wonder What if the grass isn’t any greener there? What if it isn’t not any better?

Reframe that thinking and constantly focus on positive outcome. What are you going to gain? How great are you going to feel? How this will benefit your life? What’s going to be wonderful about it?