CURIOSITY

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 7 minute read
CURIOSITY
CURIOSITY

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths – Walt Disney

Ubiquitous noise 

Nowadays our unconscious attention if being ripped apart every minute of every day. So many urges and things stimulate us at the same time. Think about the time you are at work. You probably work with other people in the same room or what’s even more challenging you might work on open space. Your collages talk to each other, to you or on the phone. If you are exceptionally lucky you can hear one radio at the same time. You have learned to exist in this overwhelming flood of noise. People are walking around and accidentally, but constantly catching your attention. When you actually try to focus on your work, you see emails coming in, you receive phone calls or messages on communicator. Even if you have managed to put everything aside and focus, after 5 minutes of strenuous work, you receive a reminder in outlook that in 15 minutes you have another meeting. And it’s all gone. Curiosity might be the answer.

 

Instant urge

Although, we really might try to pay attention, it is extremely hard to stay focused. Why it’s so hard? Well, after we start our focus quickly begins to wonder in different directions. We feel instant urge check our Facebook or email. We want to take part in ongoing conversation. We want to make a coffee or something else.

 

Years of evolution

Why this happens? What is going on? What we experience is mechanism developed by hundreds of years of evolution. It’s called positive and negative reinforcement. Dr Judson Brewer MD PhD had a great TED talk on this matter. He says that we are programed to think like that: ‘…We see some food that looks good, our brain says calories, survival, we eat the food, we taste it, it tastes good. Our body sends a signal to our brain that say remember what you are eating and where you found it.  We lay down this context related memory and learn to repeat the process next time. See food, eat food, feel good, repeat. Trigger, behavior, reward.’

 

Cholate case

Our brain whispers to us that we can use that process in other areas of life.  When we feel bad or sad, we try to do the things that makes us feel better. Like eating cholate, ice-creams or smoking. We try this and we quickly learn that it works and we feel better instantly. Same process, just a different trigger. This time instead of signal from our physical body like hunger, thrust or pain, we are experiencing this emotional signal. It’s a promise to put us in a momentary state of joy or happiness. It fades quicker than it came but we learn to repeat the process and it becomes a habit.

 

Unconscious machine

Most of our daily behaviors are results of automatic and unconscious actions. We don’t pay attention to the things we do repeatedly or quite frequently. What happen when you drive? You sit behind the wheel of your car and you just drive. Easy, automatic.

Do you remember how it looked at first?  When you just learned to drive a car you were cautiously preparing for every single drive. You were carefully adjusting your seat, mirrors and seatbelts. You where slowly starting the engine and changing gears. ­­Now tell me do you remember the exact moment of putting on your seatbelt this morning? Do you remember closing the door before going to work today?  Of course you don’t. We don’t pay attention to our daily repetitive behaviors. There is no reason in trying to change it because that’s how our mind naturally works.

 

Momentary experience

Instead of fighting our brain or trying to force ourselves to pay attention we can go with this natural reward based learning process but add in a twist - says Dr Judson Brewer. To do it we need to get curious about our momentary experience. What is actually happening in that particular moment?  How do you feel when you execute this behavior? We need to get curiously aware and we need to do it mindfully. We need to move from knowledge to wisdom, for knowing in our head to knowing and feeling it in our body.

 

Prefrontal Cortex

Prefrontal Cortex understands on intellectual level that we shouldn’t consume junk food or sweats, overeat or smoke, and it tries it hardest to help us change our behavior. That is cognitive control, but unfortunately it is the first part of our brain that is being ignored when we get stressed out. We are much more likely to yell at our spouse or kids when we are stressed or tired even thou we know that it’s not going to be helpful. Unfortunately, we just can’t help ourselves. When prefrontal cortex is bypassed, we go back to our old habits which is why this disenchantment is so important.

 

Seeing is believing

Seeing what we get from our habits helps us understand them at the bigger level. It helps us know it our bones. Seeing is believing. So we don’t have to force ourselves to hold back or restrain ourselves from this behavior. We are just less interested in doing that at the first place. This is what mindfulness is mostly about. Seeing really clearly what we get, when we get caught in our behaviors. It will not trigger any magic. We will not mysteriously and instantly change our behaviors and actions but over time we will learn to see more and more clearly the results of our actions. Thanks to that we will be able to let go of old habits and from new ones.

 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is about just being really interested in getting close and aware with what actually happens in our bodies and minds from moment to moment. Willingly focusing on our experience rather than trying to make unpleasant cravings go away as quickly as possible. It’s supported by our curiosity which is naturally rewarding.

 

Being curious

What happens when we get curious? We start to notice that cravings are just made out from body sensations. There is tightness, there is tension, there is restlessness and they come and go. You can either manage from moment to moment or you can let this humongous scary craving to choke you. When we get curios we step out of our old feared based reactive habit patterns and we step into being aware. We become this inner scientist, where we eagerly await that next research.

 

Activating curiosity

Mindfulness training is incredibly powerful tool. You can use the same technology that is driving you to distraction to help you step out of destructive habit pattern of smoking, stress eating or other addictive behaviors. However, be aware that context matter most. When you start to automatically prompt your desired behavior it will become the next everyday routine. Right when habit urge arises, you need to go to your inherent capacity to be curiously aware. Instead of activating your old behavioral pattern, notice the urge, get curios, feel the joy of letting go and repeat. Set up this triggers to activate your curiosity. Pull your trigger (article is coming soon) in the right direction

 

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HAPPINESS

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 4 minute read
HAPPINESS

There is no excuse to feel unhappy, upset or angry – !NOW!

Your choice

Our culture celebrates victimhood like never before. We celebrate people who are drama queens because it’s fun to watch on TV. People do it to get attention and to feel significant. But you don’t have to be that way. Be different. Chose happiness instead.

Make it your goal to meet the demands of the time, the demands of the moment with a smile on your face. Master your own mind, master your own attitude. You are the commander of your own attitude. You get to choose the energy that you feel and bring into a certain moment. You don’t have happiness, you don’t have joy, you choose to generate happiness, you chose to generate joy. The more energy you generate to serve or deal with the difficulties, the more you will respect yourself. The more you say I can handle this or I’ve got this, the less you will feel overwhelmed.

 

Progress

What really is happiness? My definition is extremely short. Happiness is progress. That’s it. If you’re constantly improving, getting better, getting closer you’re going to love it. You’re going to feel alive. On the other hand, you can be extremely successful but if you will stop growing you will start dying inside.

How do you feel when you get to your goal? Excited and fulfilled? Maybe for a month, a week or few days. What happens after that? You get used to your prize and it becomes just your everyday reality. If you don’t get better, if you don’t grow further, create another goal and progress towards your vision, you will not stay it the state of happiness.

 

It’s the climb not the peak

And there are really two kinds of people. You are either stressfully running after the instant prize or you joyfully climb yourself up. Step by step to your magnificent vision. Happiness isn’t in the peak. Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak. You set up that powerful vision, that great goal which is the peak, and then you go on a Journey that leads you there while you stay present to the moment on the journey.

 

More is not your answer

If you will turn your expectations for appreciation, the whole new world will appear instantly. If you cannot find happiness in this moment, in a conversation with a friend, looking in your wife’s eyes, being with your children, going for a run, if you cannot find it now, more money, more people, more love, more business, more anything is not give you that. It’s not going to give you more happiness. If you cannot do it here and now you are not going to do it there when you got more. So why don’t you do it now and have a rich life right now? You can decide to be happy now. Make your three decision(link) consciously. Happiness is a decision and choice. You really can have it now. Why don’t you do it now?

 

Step back

Your happiness starts right now. I left my job making good money, having two little kids, mortgage because I needed my mental health to be happy. I was willing to take a step back and I believe that in a 7-year period I won.

When people are 60 or 90 they don’t care about it. We would be surprised how little it matters.   

Unbelievable happiness comes from self-belief and recognizing how this’ll play out.

Please take a step back and realize how awesome life actually is.

 

Make yourself happy first

There are some many people not doing what they love because they are worried about what other people think. When you’re playing a different game then everybody else peer pressure doesn’t even have a shot at you. Love yourself first and feel good with yourself first.

Start building those skills and don’t listen to your parents, your teachers, your friends. Respect it but don’t let anybody impose their way on you. It’s you. You’re with yourself for ever and make yourself happy first.

 

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happiness

MENTAL DIET

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 7 minute read
mental diet
MENTAL DIET

Attitude is that little thing that makes a big difference – Winston Churchill

I know that just hearing the world ‘diet’ puts most people in the state of disbelief or laughter. Isn’t that right? Either you or someone close to you have tried some kind of diet and it probably didn’t work. We live in the time when almost every day we hear about newly discovered diet. Eat only this or don’t eat that. Paleo, Ducan, New Atkon, Low carb, Keto, Raw and on and on. I don’t know how about you but I just make it fly by me.

The thing you are about to read and learn is something you haven’t heard before. Mental Diet.

 

Emotional conditioning

We need to start from concentrating on your good emotions. When do you usually feel good? Is there something that needs to happen for you to feel good? General majority of us feel good when something good happens. We wait for that moment. What about the space in between those moments? How do you feel than? Most of the time we are on emotional stand by. We hope for the best but we wait and rely on outside events. We give away control over our emotions very easily. Quite often we go up and down, over and over again.

 

No reason

Could we grasp those positive emotions for a longer time? Not only we can do it, we have to do it. We can’t let our environment to control us. Of course we are not able to control outside events but we can fully control our emotions. You don’t need an excuse to feel good. You can feel great for no good reason. Just like that. Most people would think that sounds really naive.

 

Why do we need Mental Diet?

You may think is naive to say that you don’t need a reason to feel great but it’s not. The situation is totally the other way around. Actually most people don’t need reason to feel bad. When you ask them How it’s going? They say I don’t feel good or I feel terrible. You ask again How come? And you hear I just woke up or It’s Monday or I have to go to work tomorrow. Sound familiar? The sad thing is we accept and even understand that kind of behaviors.  

 

Weirdo

If you ask someone else the same question How it’s going? and in reply you hear I feel great! How come? I don’t know, I just do! You think this guy needs to go psychiatrist. There’s got to be something seriously wrong with him or he’s just crazy. That’s the cultural conditioning we live in. We accept and understand people who feel sorry for themselves. On the other hand, we despise people who are positive no matter what.

 

Like a book

When you know what to look for it is quite easy to see how others are conditioned. Their body language, their facial expressions and verbal communication show their state.

Your mental state produces your emotions. Most of us know someone who looks angry all the time and who’s emotions go along with that state. Tomorrow at work play a game of watching body language of your colleges or clients. It’s fairly easy to fool your words but you have to be very conscious and skilled to fool your body. 

 

Happiness leaves clues

What about people who always smile? Happy-go-lucky ones, those irrational happy dreamers? They live in that state and their life is filled with fun and joy. When you are angry you will do things that will make you angrier. When you are sad you will do things that makes you even more sad. When you are conditioned to be happy you look for clues to feed your positive emotions. Happiness becomes your habit.

 

Mental Diet

The way to develop a habit is to go on a Mental Diet. Do not allow yourself to hold a negative feeling, a negative though for seven straight days. Day and night. Even when it gets tough. Even when somebody disappoints you. Even when you get frustrated. Even when you give your all and it ends up lousy.

 

Three decisions

Before going on a Mental Diet you have to understand how you are wired. If you haven’t read Three Decisions you make please do and you raise your awareness.  In brief words we are aware that we can’t control all events and things happening around us. But what we can control is what that things mean to us. What emotions we feel towards them. This is another thing I learned from listing to Tony Robbins. This guy is huge. He such a humble and inspiring human being. Listen to him, learn from him. Do it again and again. I promise you will catch what I meant here. My friend Ania told me about Tony. Listing to him inspired and changed my life like nothing else. If it wasn’t for him I would still be living in frustration, stress and hopelessness. He was my external detonator and I wish you to find one too.

 

What is Mental Diet?

In the simplest words it is an emotional discipline. You don’t allow yourself to say or think negative things.  Every time new negative emotion come up I immediately remind myself that I’m on a diet and I don’t consume those things anymore. They are not good for me. I have conditioned myself to focus on my commitment to be on a diet. Sometimes I even say it out loud. That is wonderful feeling. Of course it is not all perfect but I’m getting there. Step by step.

 

5 sins

There are 5 habits you are not allowed to take on your Mental Diet. Habits we can all fall into.

1. Gossip

Speaking ill of somebody who is not present. Instead focus on positive facts.

2. Judging 

It is very hard to bond and interact with somebody if you know you are being judged. Have your own opinion, don’t take everything for granted and don’t agree with everything but tolerant, respectful and don’t judge.  

3. Negativity 

Negativity is a poison to your mind. We all know people who tend to squeeze negativity out of everything. It’s hard to listen to them. If you surround yourself with negative people you will become one very quickly. Make positive attitude your habit and you’ll see what a great difference it will bring to your life.

4. Complaining

We are masters of complaining about work, weather, economy, politics and any other topic. Complaining is viral misery. Once and for all stop complaining, accept reality and look for opportunities.

5. Excuses

Some people throw blame wherever they can. They pass it on to everybody else and don’t take responsibility for their actions. Take responsibility as quickly as possible and slay the blame dragon while his little.

 

Monitor note

One of the things that I have used during my Mental diet to help me last with my plan was a little, simple note on my monitor at work, that said Mental Diet. Every time something or someone got close to making my anxious I was looking on this note and it reminding myself of my commitment. Commitment of creating that habit. With every next day I was using it less and less. It was on my monitor a long after that and I used it at least three times a day. If I am already angry or frustrated I allow myself to stay in that state for 90 seconds. 90 seconds and I am done. It works perfectly. Simple and effective anchors to trigger habits.  

 

No excuse

The main cause of any unhappiness is never the situations itself but it’s always our thoughts about it. That idea comes from Eckhart Tolle ‘New Earth’. There is literally no excuse to feel unhappy, upset, angry and so on. You can have full control over your response.  

 

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THREE DECISIONS YOU MAKE

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
THREE DECISIONS YOU MAKE
THREE DECISIONS YOU MAKE

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped – Tony Robbins

So many of us are so focused on making the right decision that we end up not making any at all. That state of decision-making impotency turns out to be your decision. As Tony Robbins says Not making decision is still a decision. The tough decisions are the ones that you really need to make. They are the ones that can change the direction of your actions. Those decisions are your superpower. Besides those humongous decisions, hundred times a day you are making three tiny decisions that make you who you are. Believe it. The proof is in the pudding.

Three Questions

Every single moment of our life we are subconsciously making three decisions that shape our emotions, our attitude and our actions. We instantly go thru this process by asking three questions:

1. What do I focus on?

Do I focus on the down side or the upside? Do I worry or do I look for chances, lessons and growth? Whatever you are going to focus on you are going to experience. Almost always there is a positive side to every challenging situation you are going through. Some people focus on their own needs, others focus on other people needs.

Your focus is going to change the quality of your life completely. If you focus on what you cannot control that is going to raise your anger and frustration. You can either focus on why it didn’t work out or on the lesson you learned. Even if you focus on something that is made up and unreal, you are still going to feel it. If you are going to focus on what you’ve lost, you’re not going to feel what’ve earned or learned.  What you focus on equals what you feel.  

2. What does it mean?

What does it mean for me that I didn’t get that job, that I lost that game, that I got divorced? You literally label the meaning to everything that is happening to you. You can be frustrated and upset about the smallest things.

Few months ago I have broken a touch screen in my phone. Accidently I have dropped my phone on the sidewalk and the touch screen crushed into pieces. Somehow it looked more like a throw than a drop and that might be the reason for that outcome.

Due to my next article Mental Diet (coming soon) practices I allowed myself to be pissed off for 90 seconds. Thanks to that it didn’t affect me at all. That was a perfect test for me because just a year earlier this kind of thing would have made me extremely furious and disappointed. Back then it would take me hours or days to get over it. I was stressed and awfully impulsive but after listening twice to Tony Robbins’s Awaken the Giant Within I have decided to change many things in my life, not the least of which was my emotional state and my mindset. As it turns out it took me a year of hard work, practice and many, many failures to get to where I was. It’s still far from being perfect, but I’m very pleased with that level of progress. As most of things in life it is an ongoing process of practice, failures and learning.

3. How do I respond?

When you will come up with a meaning you will have a certain feeling about that and that will put you into the emotional state. From that state of emotions, you will decide what to do, how to act. There is an enormous difference about making the decision from the state of happiness, faith and confidence or the state of frustration, fear and insecurity. Be aware what is your state when you make any decision or interaction.

Different stories

Your eyes are only viewers but your brain is a recorder and projector that is running a second story over every picture. We all have very different filters and focal points in the same story. That is why so often we catch ourselves and our friends on telling the same story it two totally different ways. Focusing on different events, different people, giving it fact totally different meaning.

Be aware

Be aware how you write your stories. Be aware what meaning you give to events in your life. Be aware of your decisions. Don’t ever give fear the power to write your script. Make a conscious choice to perceive challenges as something beneficial so you can deal with them in the most productive way.

Three decision you make

After this instant process you will either give up or move forward. Are you going to blame somebody or are you going to change something? Those three decision you make will determine the true quality of your life.    Whatever you do is going to shape your destiny.

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5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 4 minute read
5 THINGS TO RAISE YOUR STANDARDS
5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

If we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us – William Feather

Past and Future

If you truly want to raise our standards you need to become present. There are two main obstacles to become present. Your past and your future. How do you reconcile those two and what are 5 things to raise your standards?

First and foremost, you need to set powerful goals. You need to create powerful vision to keep you going when motivation will finally fail you. And it will fail you sooner than you think.

Climbing the hill

There are really two kinds of people. You are either running anxiously after the instant prize or you joyfully climb yourself up, step by step to your magnificent vision. Happiness isn’t way up there. It isn’t on the peak. Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak. You set up that powerful vision that great goal which reflects your peak. Then you go on a Journey that leads you there while you stay present to the moment.

5 things to raise standards

Let me tell you why this is so important. Every day you live up to your standards. Every day you agree to this kind of life. You agree to pain, frustration, fear, stagnation.

Once you raise your standards in these 5 areas, and you will improve your life dramatically:

1. Health.

Have you ever said, this is going to be the year I get in the best health and shape of my life? For real this is the year to do it. Improve your health and almost automatically you will become happier and more energized and more effective. Raise your standards on how much sleep you get and how well you eat. Take care of your body. Step by step built strong foundation in your body, so that your mind could benefit. Don’t let body be your limit. Make it your tool.

2. Focus. 

Distractions are stealing our lives. We are serious addicts of distraction and we need to get it under control. Get more focused on what you desire in this hour, this day, this life. Don’t focus on whatever comes your way. Bring your awareness to this moment and what you want to be doing and experiencing now. That will help you be more conscious and you will spot distractions a lot easier.

3. Courage. 

Where you are in life right now is a direct reflection of how bold you've been up to this point. How bravely you share yourself, your ideas, your needs and dreams with the world? How courageous have you been to fight after you've failed? Demand of yourself to have more courage. I promise you'll feel more confident and influential over time. Courage is not something you’re born with. No one will give it to. Neither you can buy it nor it’s free. Remember courage is a habit. You can learn it by continually trying. Don’t feel ashamed you have failed, feel ashamed if you didn’t try.

4. Joy. 

Do you expect that you're going to have fun today? How about life in general? Better yet, do you demand of yourself to be the person who brings the joy, who brings fun and helps others have fun no matter what? Joy is a choice not a coincidental blessing. Bring the joy!

5. Kindness. 

Often times people are so driven and distracted that they've often lost the awareness to be kind to others. Kindness is compassion activated - you actually show you care through your actions. Raising your standard here will help you reach higher levels of happiness, service, and humanity. You will be able to connect deeply with more people.

How much longer?

How much pain, frustration, fear or stress are you willing to take? What are you willing to settle for? What do you expect from life? Rise your standard and become a different breed. Rise your standards in those 5 areas of life and live a happy life right now.

 

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5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

RAISING STANDARDS

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 9 minute read
raising standards
nowisahabit

You must unlearn what you have learned – Yoda

Why?

Why we should start raising standards? When I look back at my life from couple of months ago I feel embarrassed. My whole carrier in banking, almost 4 years of my life, was a living hell. For the record I don’t blame my job for it, at least not entirely. If I was lucky I had extremely bad day once week. If I wasn’t so lucky it could go on for days or weeks incessantly. For years I was living in this dark emotional dungeon. Unfortunately, as sad as it sounds this happens to really many people for all different reasons. We as human beings are able to take so much shit that we will even learn to swim in it. This single skill can waste your entire life. This has nothing to do with resourcefulness. It doesn’t mean that you are tough or brave. Once you make that really tough decision that you will be brave.

At the bottom 

It was beginning of January, over a year and a half ago, when I started to think a lot about my life. I was taking care of my baby girl and I had two weeks off. I was literally on the verge of depression. I couldn’t find much meaning in what I have been doing. Of course my wife and my children were, and still are, heart and purpose of my life, but on personal and professional level I was dead empty. There was no light in the tunnel. I was not growing emotionally. Mentally I was crushed. My self-confidence and self-esteem were totally crashed. You’ve got the picture, right?

Way too much

As you know right now for over three and a half year I was working in a bank. It was by far the toughest years of my life. I probably don’t have to tell you that the pressure linked to any job where you sell things people don’t really need and want is significant. Our situation over there was quite specific. We were working for a private entrepreneur but on a little part we were also employed by the bank. What that meant in practice was that were under pressure from both sides and pretty much both sides could dump and push us around. Priorities of those two parties were totally different. Besides no-brainers like sales plans, performance evaluations, endless contact with unhappy clients, internal audit, direct and telephone customer service surveys, I was also responsible for books and safe deposit. Way too many things to focus on.

Unlocked doors

One time I had forgot to close the doors to the bank. Imagine that. No, I wasn’t so funny back then. That night around 3 in the morning I had received over a dozen calls from security. When I finally picked up the phone I felt a massive hit in a liver.  You could image how stressful that was. Driving over there with my heart over my shoulder was an intense experience. When I came there I found two security guards sleeping in a car by the doors. Luckily for me everything was in place. During next couple weeks those security guards had a lot of fun at my expense. Well, I had always loved to fool around and bring smile to my colleagues.  We have look constantly for the bright side of life even in situations messed up like that.

Getting used to it

Sales plans, performance evaluations, satisfying unhappy clients, internal audits, direct and telephone customer service surveys pressure were part my daily routine. I don’t want to make it embarrassing for anyone and I’m going write what we’ve been told every day. It was very painful, at the beginning. After a while it was not making such a big impression. On top of that priorities were changing every day. I could write about that forever but I hope you have got a slight idea how it was to work over there.

Forged in fire

Nevertheless, what happened during that long years made me who I am now. Mentally strong, laid back, good with people and composed. I’m pretty sure I could all go other way. My strong suit is working with deadlines and who would have guessed working ‘under pressure’. I like my job but I have no fear of losing it. And I feel I had really developed my soft skills. They had become my compelling obsession. 

Difficult time’s makes you grow and gain so much. Learn from those experiences but never settle for this kind of life. Change it. Break this pattern.

Nail in my coffin

There was a specific day while I was still working in that bank which I will never forget. It was by far the most important day of my life. The day of the Decision. I have listened to Tony Robbins audiobook Awaken the Giant Within twice in previous three months but nothing in that particular day showed how significant it will soon be. For the previous couple days, I have been hearing rumors that I might be given an offer I won’t be able to refuse. An offer to be transferred to different part company, with a paycheck cut in two. After working there for over three and half years I was send to a different team to be trained on how to call with clients and organize my day. And it was just a day after finishing the biggest transaction of my banking career. It was a very complicated refinancing business credit with multiple collaterals for really high amount. The amount was actually bigger than the whole team where I was going to be trained sold together for the last month. To be fair it was on a very high commission for my boss as well as for the bank. Looks like a win-win situation but unfortunately collateral credits were not on the list of current priorities and basically it was not taken under consideration in sales plans. I was working on in for three months and it caused me a tone of stress and frustration. It was not going good at all. Other banks have already terminated our client credits which were to be refinanced but we couldn’t get it to the end. Two different land registrations offices declined our application for inscribing our bank’s claim for collateral of that credit. I was inches from the biggest catastrophe for my client and I was responsible for that. I couldn’t sleep for few days but we finally got it done. It was finished. I was so relieved.

My breaking point

However, I haven’t heard any congratulations from my boss. Nothing at all. In addition to that if I would do this credit while working for another team in our bank I would receive commission in the amount of my three monthly salaries. I haven’t received any commission at all and instead of financial gratification on the next day I was ordered to go for training to another team. I went there, spend there an hour and as soon as I went back to my team to finish some paper work at my desk, someone called my boss who was out of office. She called me immediately. It was not more than 5 minutes since I left and she was already yelling at me. Saying I act like I little intern and I’m not allowed to leave that team under any circumstances. This yelling and screaming went for next 10 minutes. As soon as he hung up I said out loud to my colleagues that it is my last day here. I will not be working here anymore. I’ve had it. Enough.

A load off my mind

I felt a mighty relief immediately. Transcendental freedom. I felt powerful and in full control. My fear and my overwhelming stress were gone. I have never felt anything close to that before. It felt I reached the bottom and bounced back. I saw the light of life for the first time in many years. I was working there for the next two weeks during the termination of agreement at my request. I was out. I have finally made the Decision and I’ve followed through. Since then my life changed in so many aspects and it is so much better now.

Stream of negativity

Most people are just like I was back then. They wake up and have a constant stream of negative thoughts until they go to bed. The majority of those thoughts will never actually happen, but they are not going to go away by themselves. All those  negativethings are just challenges to be crushed.

Practical advice 5 THINGS TO RAISE YOUR STANDARDS is coming soon

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JOURNEY OF A FOOL

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
JOURNEY OF A FOOL
JOURNEY OF A FOOL

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool - William Shakespeare

CONFESSION

I am a complete Fool. I haven’t been a fool some time ago but I am one now. Seriously that’s the thing I’m most certain about myself at this very moment.  And you know what? I’m proud to be a fool. I cherish it. I enjoy it. I love it with my entire body. I never thought I would be so happy to say that I AM A FOOL.

TICKET TO MY DREAM

That notion of being a Fool enlightened me just about 3 months ago. At that time, I have discorded that I’m a not a rookie Fool anymore. It’s the second year of this incredible Journey. It has all started with naive idea that I can actually change my life. That I can be me. That I can be happy. That there is something more. Buying this ticket to happiness came by the prize of fear of failure but I bought it anyway. Don’t expect it to be free! It will never be.

BAGGAGE

The Journey of a Fool started from change my mindset, raising my standards and making the Decision. The decision to leave my job. To leave making good money. To leave my professional experience. To leave everything I learned. Finding the courage to leave it all behind, while having two little kids, a big mortage and literally no idea what now. I was willing to take that step back to get my mental health and happiness back.   

PAINTING

What happened next? Well, many things happened but the only thing that mattered was what I did with it. Although I don’t know how to draw, I took those massive crayons and painted my life with the happiest possible colors. After years of living in greys and halftones I started living in a totally different painting. There was no place for tragedy or drama anymore. This picture is in my full control, under my responsibility and I have all the colors in my hands. I paint my past. I paint my reality. I paint my future, my vision and my dreams. The story and the quality of my painting is only up to me. Own your painting. Own it and paint whatever you can dream of. 

IT’S A SCAM

So many of us live in greys and halftones, just like I was. The most marvelous and unfortunately forgotten factor is to be a fool and dream! Be naive enough to dream, to have vision, to wonder on your Journey. Sometimes you have got to be nuts! The world wants us to be reasonable and rational but it’s highly overrated. It’s not what you expect. You’re buying a life you don’t want. You’re buying it because so many people bought before you. That’s still the same insanely overpriced product. It’s like buying this beautifully designed, highly practical and technologically perfect vacuum from a TV Store. Once you’ve got it delivered, unwrap it and plug it in, it becomes the biggest disappointment of your life. The more you use it, the worst it gets. Then you come to a point when it doesn’t work anymore. You stop dreaming, you stop expecting more from yourself, you stop trying. It’s very sad but you become a bystander of your own life. Don’t you ever let it happen.

BE A FOOL

From the start of our life we are told to grow up. Is it really a time to do it now? Well, it’s quite the opposite. Be a child again. Feel joy, feel curiosity by learning to switch off your good sense and judgment.

Who with a right mind would risk a failure? Who would risk pain? Who would risk embarrassment?  Only a fool. Be smart and brave enough to be one. Who would work really hard without a clear prize ahead? Only a fool. Don’t look around the next corner, look at the end of that road. Be patient. Your life is not a sprint, it’s an ultramarathon.

Who would ignore the past? Only a fool. Don’t be afraid to focus on present and the future.

JOURNEY OF A FOOL

GAME OF RULES

YOUR CHOISE

The way you live your life, will determine how many secrets you will discover. Pursuing knowledge and experience can only get you so far. To go all the way, you want to be a glorious dreamer.

Our world, our society, our companies and corporations praise conformity but there is a different choice for you. You don’t have to do it. Fight for your vision. Don’t give up on your Journey. Be Nuts. Be a Fool!