FAILURE STORIES EP.09 WARREN BUFFET

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 3 minute read, FAILURE STORIES

A 20-year-old Warren Buffett was well on his way to accomplish his goal. Becoming millionaire by age 35. By the age 16 he already made $53,000. He had a flair for making money in the stock market. Combine this with education in elite schools and you end up with a story that looks nothing like a failure story, right?

 

Our biggest fear

Wrong. We’ve all got our own failure. My failures can be different than yours. And your can be different than her or his. But Warren’s failures and fears were very similar to what most of us experience. Young Warren was terrified of public speaking. Yes, you read that right. Aren’t you afraid? Most of us are. It’s the number one fear we have. Death comes second. Which means that most people are more afraid of speaking in public than death. So was Warren but it didn’t stop him from becoming a great speaker.

 

Facing fear

Did he have something you don’t have? No. He was aware of his biggest fear and he knew it won’t disappear by itself. He decided to face his biggest fear. Although he didn’t need to be a great speaker then he was thinking about his future. He knew he won’t be able to run from it all his life and he ended up signing for Dale Carnegie speaking course but dropped out before it even started. “I lost my nerve”.

 

Runaway

He was so nervous, that he would arrange and choose his college classes to avoid having to get up in front of people. "I was so terrified that I just couldn't" – he says. "I would throw up…In fact, I arranged my life so that I never had to get up in front of anybody." 

 

Dread

In one of the interviews he said "I knew I was going to have to speak in public sometimes. The agony was such that just to get rid of the pain I signed up for the course again."  Warren enrolled the course with 30 other students who, just like him, were frightened. "We were all just terrified," Buffett said. "We couldn't say our own names. We all stood there and wouldn't talk to each other." 

 

Why shouldn’t you?

They got a book of speeches that was full of examples of talks you might give to keynote an event or if you were trying to win an election. Every week they had to give one of those speeches. "The way it works is that you learn to get out of yourself," Buffett said. "I mean, why should you be able to talk alone with somebody five minutes before and then froze in front of a group?" 

 

Slowly

The students supported one another, and slowly, slowly, slowly, Buffett got comfortable in front of a crowd. This low-stake situation was perfect environment to work on this craft. "Some of it is just practice — just doing it and practicing," Buffett said. "And it worked. That's the most important degree I have." After taking the course, Buffett was confident enough to speak in public and, perhaps more importantly, propose to his future wife Susan.

 

Passion

At a very young age Buffett became passionate about investing, money and achieving success. That ongoing enthusiasm comes through in his speeches and interviews. As Carnegie put it, "Even people with only mediocre speaking ability may make superb talks if they will speak about something that has deeply stirred them." People will see your passion, smile and positive energy and that will make a huge difference.

 

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WINTER IS COMING

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 4 minute read
WINTER IS COMING

Tough times never last, but tough people do - Robert H. Schuller

Let’s face it’s not going to be easy. There is nothing easy about the thing you want to do. Tough times are going to come. Fear is going to come. Failure is going to come. Winter is going to come. That shouldn’t be a surprise because tough times were here before, right? Fear was here. Failure was here. So was winter but we always seem surprised and feel disappointed when it comes back. Why this keeps happening to us? I would risk saying that we are not prepared to what’s coming at us. Tough times are coming at us with a full blast. Winter is coming. So how can we prepare?

 

You are the reason

You need to develop strong enough reasons to follow through when it’s going to get tough. Your intention is everything. Nothing in your life happens without it. Nothing ever in life has been and never will be accomplish without it. There will be a million reasons why not but there’s one great reason WHY. It’s your vision. You are the reason you think the way you think, you are the reason you act the way you act, you are the reason the way you are. It’s up to you to change it what needs to be changed. Persevere and stay focused.

 

Skillset

Don’t criticize what you’ve got. Instead turn what you’ve got into the miracle of your future. Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Sometimes your real dream will reveal itself once you start going towards your goal. Do not limit your belief or what you are capable of based on your skill set today. Your skill set today has nothing to do with whether or not you can accomplish your future vision. The important things are the skills you need to learn to get there. New routines, new habits, new friends, new mentors. Every big goal is impossible at first, but with every inch, with every step you take in becomes more and more possible.

 

Clean up your neglect

We tend to delay doing the most important things. Why? Because we know it will take a lot of time and effort to do them. We are afraid to fail so we feel a lot safer not to try at all. Break that limiting belief.  Clean up your neglect. How? If you feel you should work out and you could work out but you don’t work out, it’s a clear sign that you are on the wrong track. If you feel you should learn and could learn but you don’t learn, it’s a clear sign that you are on the wrong track. If you feel you should read and could read but you don’t read, it’s a clear sign that you are on the wrong track. Should call. Could call. Don’t call. On the wrong track. Should change. Could change. Don’t change. You are on the wrong track. Conversation you haven’t had, calls you didn’t make, hours you didn’t practice. Get that job done. Don’t let neglect destroy your day, Don’t let neglect destroy your future.

 

Do what you can

Go back and do what you can. If you do what you can then life will give you some extraordinary things to do. You start with the smallest of disciplines and do not neglect them and do not disregard them as being trifling. Everything matters. Everything is important. All disciplines affect each other. Do not disregard the smallest of disciplines. Do not neglect the smallest of disciplines and build on that foundation and you can have everything you can possibly want. Take care of your smallest disciplines one by one until you get to the bigger ones. By that time you’re going to have experience, knowledge and skillset to take care of the bigger issues.

 

How to prepare for winter?

What I can do about the upcoming winter of my life? What I can do about the challenges that I know I’m going to face? Here’s what you can do. You can get wiser and stronger. Wiser and stronger.  Come home smarter than you left. Go home with more ideas that you had. Next get stronger. You can develop the muscle. You can develop the courage muscle. You can develop the inspiration muscle. You can develop the discipline muscle. You can get stronger. Anybody can get stronger. You can develop the mental strength and ability to handle anything. After a while your friends might not even recognize you because of how strong you have become.

 

The key is not to wish for a better winter.  The key is to wish for more strength, more wisdom or courage and actually get better, get wiser, get stronger.

 

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5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

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5 THINGS TO RAISE YOUR STANDARDS
5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

If we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us – William Feather

Past and Future

If you truly want to raise our standards you need to become present. There are two main obstacles to become present. Your past and your future. How do you reconcile those two and what are 5 things to raise your standards?

First and foremost, you need to set powerful goals. You need to create powerful vision to keep you going when motivation will finally fail you. And it will fail you sooner than you think.

Climbing the hill

There are really two kinds of people. You are either running anxiously after the instant prize or you joyfully climb yourself up, step by step to your magnificent vision. Happiness isn’t way up there. It isn’t on the peak. Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak. You set up that powerful vision that great goal which reflects your peak. Then you go on a Journey that leads you there while you stay present to the moment.

5 things to raise standards

Let me tell you why this is so important. Every day you live up to your standards. Every day you agree to this kind of life. You agree to pain, frustration, fear, stagnation.

Once you raise your standards in these 5 areas, and you will improve your life dramatically:

1. Health.

Have you ever said, this is going to be the year I get in the best health and shape of my life? For real this is the year to do it. Improve your health and almost automatically you will become happier and more energized and more effective. Raise your standards on how much sleep you get and how well you eat. Take care of your body. Step by step built strong foundation in your body, so that your mind could benefit. Don’t let body be your limit. Make it your tool.

2. Focus. 

Distractions are stealing our lives. We are serious addicts of distraction and we need to get it under control. Get more focused on what you desire in this hour, this day, this life. Don’t focus on whatever comes your way. Bring your awareness to this moment and what you want to be doing and experiencing now. That will help you be more conscious and you will spot distractions a lot easier.

3. Courage. 

Where you are in life right now is a direct reflection of how bold you've been up to this point. How bravely you share yourself, your ideas, your needs and dreams with the world? How courageous have you been to fight after you've failed? Demand of yourself to have more courage. I promise you'll feel more confident and influential over time. Courage is not something you’re born with. No one will give it to. Neither you can buy it nor it’s free. Remember courage is a habit. You can learn it by continually trying. Don’t feel ashamed you have failed, feel ashamed if you didn’t try.

4. Joy. 

Do you expect that you're going to have fun today? How about life in general? Better yet, do you demand of yourself to be the person who brings the joy, who brings fun and helps others have fun no matter what? Joy is a choice not a coincidental blessing. Bring the joy!

5. Kindness. 

Often times people are so driven and distracted that they've often lost the awareness to be kind to others. Kindness is compassion activated - you actually show you care through your actions. Raising your standard here will help you reach higher levels of happiness, service, and humanity. You will be able to connect deeply with more people.

How much longer?

How much pain, frustration, fear or stress are you willing to take? What are you willing to settle for? What do you expect from life? Rise your standard and become a different breed. Rise your standards in those 5 areas of life and live a happy life right now.

 

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5 THINGS TO RAISE STANDARDS

RAISING STANDARDS

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 9 minute read
raising standards
nowisahabit

You must unlearn what you have learned – Yoda

Why?

Why we should start raising standards? When I look back at my life from couple of months ago I feel embarrassed. My whole carrier in banking, almost 4 years of my life, was a living hell. For the record I don’t blame my job for it, at least not entirely. If I was lucky I had extremely bad day once week. If I wasn’t so lucky it could go on for days or weeks incessantly. For years I was living in this dark emotional dungeon. Unfortunately, as sad as it sounds this happens to really many people for all different reasons. We as human beings are able to take so much shit that we will even learn to swim in it. This single skill can waste your entire life. This has nothing to do with resourcefulness. It doesn’t mean that you are tough or brave. Once you make that really tough decision that you will be brave.

At the bottom 

It was beginning of January, over a year and a half ago, when I started to think a lot about my life. I was taking care of my baby girl and I had two weeks off. I was literally on the verge of depression. I couldn’t find much meaning in what I have been doing. Of course my wife and my children were, and still are, heart and purpose of my life, but on personal and professional level I was dead empty. There was no light in the tunnel. I was not growing emotionally. Mentally I was crushed. My self-confidence and self-esteem were totally crashed. You’ve got the picture, right?

Way too much

As you know right now for over three and a half year I was working in a bank. It was by far the toughest years of my life. I probably don’t have to tell you that the pressure linked to any job where you sell things people don’t really need and want is significant. Our situation over there was quite specific. We were working for a private entrepreneur but on a little part we were also employed by the bank. What that meant in practice was that were under pressure from both sides and pretty much both sides could dump and push us around. Priorities of those two parties were totally different. Besides no-brainers like sales plans, performance evaluations, endless contact with unhappy clients, internal audit, direct and telephone customer service surveys, I was also responsible for books and safe deposit. Way too many things to focus on.

Unlocked doors

One time I had forgot to close the doors to the bank. Imagine that. No, I wasn’t so funny back then. That night around 3 in the morning I had received over a dozen calls from security. When I finally picked up the phone I felt a massive hit in a liver.  You could image how stressful that was. Driving over there with my heart over my shoulder was an intense experience. When I came there I found two security guards sleeping in a car by the doors. Luckily for me everything was in place. During next couple weeks those security guards had a lot of fun at my expense. Well, I had always loved to fool around and bring smile to my colleagues.  We have look constantly for the bright side of life even in situations messed up like that.

Getting used to it

Sales plans, performance evaluations, satisfying unhappy clients, internal audits, direct and telephone customer service surveys pressure were part my daily routine. I don’t want to make it embarrassing for anyone and I’m going write what we’ve been told every day. It was very painful, at the beginning. After a while it was not making such a big impression. On top of that priorities were changing every day. I could write about that forever but I hope you have got a slight idea how it was to work over there.

Forged in fire

Nevertheless, what happened during that long years made me who I am now. Mentally strong, laid back, good with people and composed. I’m pretty sure I could all go other way. My strong suit is working with deadlines and who would have guessed working ‘under pressure’. I like my job but I have no fear of losing it. And I feel I had really developed my soft skills. They had become my compelling obsession. 

Difficult time’s makes you grow and gain so much. Learn from those experiences but never settle for this kind of life. Change it. Break this pattern.

Nail in my coffin

There was a specific day while I was still working in that bank which I will never forget. It was by far the most important day of my life. The day of the Decision. I have listened to Tony Robbins audiobook Awaken the Giant Within twice in previous three months but nothing in that particular day showed how significant it will soon be. For the previous couple days, I have been hearing rumors that I might be given an offer I won’t be able to refuse. An offer to be transferred to different part company, with a paycheck cut in two. After working there for over three and half years I was send to a different team to be trained on how to call with clients and organize my day. And it was just a day after finishing the biggest transaction of my banking career. It was a very complicated refinancing business credit with multiple collaterals for really high amount. The amount was actually bigger than the whole team where I was going to be trained sold together for the last month. To be fair it was on a very high commission for my boss as well as for the bank. Looks like a win-win situation but unfortunately collateral credits were not on the list of current priorities and basically it was not taken under consideration in sales plans. I was working on in for three months and it caused me a tone of stress and frustration. It was not going good at all. Other banks have already terminated our client credits which were to be refinanced but we couldn’t get it to the end. Two different land registrations offices declined our application for inscribing our bank’s claim for collateral of that credit. I was inches from the biggest catastrophe for my client and I was responsible for that. I couldn’t sleep for few days but we finally got it done. It was finished. I was so relieved.

My breaking point

However, I haven’t heard any congratulations from my boss. Nothing at all. In addition to that if I would do this credit while working for another team in our bank I would receive commission in the amount of my three monthly salaries. I haven’t received any commission at all and instead of financial gratification on the next day I was ordered to go for training to another team. I went there, spend there an hour and as soon as I went back to my team to finish some paper work at my desk, someone called my boss who was out of office. She called me immediately. It was not more than 5 minutes since I left and she was already yelling at me. Saying I act like I little intern and I’m not allowed to leave that team under any circumstances. This yelling and screaming went for next 10 minutes. As soon as he hung up I said out loud to my colleagues that it is my last day here. I will not be working here anymore. I’ve had it. Enough.

A load off my mind

I felt a mighty relief immediately. Transcendental freedom. I felt powerful and in full control. My fear and my overwhelming stress were gone. I have never felt anything close to that before. It felt I reached the bottom and bounced back. I saw the light of life for the first time in many years. I was working there for the next two weeks during the termination of agreement at my request. I was out. I have finally made the Decision and I’ve followed through. Since then my life changed in so many aspects and it is so much better now.

Stream of negativity

Most people are just like I was back then. They wake up and have a constant stream of negative thoughts until they go to bed. The majority of those thoughts will never actually happen, but they are not going to go away by themselves. All those  negativethings are just challenges to be crushed.

Practical advice 5 THINGS TO RAISE YOUR STANDARDS is coming soon

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OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 2

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 7 minute read
fear
Fear

Turning fear into fun is a gift of creativity – Joe Gebbia

PAIN AND PLEASURE

In the process of overcoming fear of failure, we have got to deal with pain first. We don’t avoid the real, physical or mental pain, we avoid what we link pain to. It’s up to us to decide what we want to be pleasurable or painful. Once we change the meaning we associate to the certain situation, we will literally feel it in our body. Our future it shaped to a great extent by pain and pleasure links we have created through our entire life. We have created very complex map of pain and pleasure links. If you’re not happy with your design, you have got to change it now and some things go.

LET IT GO

You are right if you think that is not going to be easy. It takes courage to let things go. Things that hurt you. Things that wounded you. Things that made you bleed. It takes courage to let them go. You have to have enough faith to believe that what is in front of you is greater than what was behind you. Stop thinking about your past, your past pain, your past failure. Focus totally on your future.

NECESSITY

You need to realize that you have to stop thinking about the pain you might experience. You are just afraid of failure but failure will come. Fear will come. Pain will come. But you’re not the first one. There were many people before who went through it and they have won that battle. Failure is a necessity of success. Just like pain is a necessity of growth.

WORST CASE SCENARIO

Defeating fear is the first step to success. One of the ways to do it is to divide a piece of paper into three vertical columns:

  1. Write all the things that could go wrong if you quit your job, if you make that big decision to start that company or whatever else is in your mind (give as many details as possible). What are the worst things that may happen if you do it?
  2. What are the things you could do to mitigate those risks. How can you decrease the likelihood of all those bad things­­? How can you prevent those things from happening? How can you prepare yourself for that?
  3. What you could do to get back to where you are now if those things happen? How long will it take you to get back? How much effort will it take?
IT’S TEMPORARY

Once you define with extreme clarity what you are really afraid of, you realize none of those things is permanent. Almost all of them are fairly easily reversible. Once you put your mighty fears on paper they become tiny speculations.

Knowing that will a massive relief before taking the next big step. Crossing the bridge.

LEARN YOUR LESSON

As said before so many of us do not act upon our plans and dreams because of fear of failure. We think every failed experiment is a step backward. In reality is totally different. There is no question to me that failing is very unpleasant and disappointing but it makes you aware of the holes in your game. You get used to this new situation. It’s the best learning experience you could ever ask for. Failing is 10 times better than not trying at all. But remember to fail fast and learn even faster. Failure is a progress in every sense of the word and you need to fail your way to successes.

4 STEPS OF DEALING WITH FAILURE

How to deal with failure? With a use of insides from the best experts in the process reverse engineering of human mind, especially Tony Robbins, I have created a best way for myself to handle with failure. My quick process of dealing with failure is divided into 4 steps:

  1. Acknowledge it. Accept the reality of this situation.
  2. Decide what it really means to you. Not what others make of it but what are the real implications. Is it really so bad?
  3. Learn from it. What can you take from this? What can you change next time?
  4. Leave it. Forget about it. Remember only the lesson not the experience.

This short formula works for me in case of both smaller and bigger setbacks.

STRESS OF CHANGE

Most of us live in the world which is very well organized. We do certain things, at a certain time with a certain people. It is our pond. It might be bigger or smaller but it’s our own. We know our ways around it. You know where to look and where to hide. Every once in a while, someone stirs the water on the surface, puts a new fish or change the water in your pond. Your world gets shaken a bit. Most of the time this causes unnecessary stress and fear but everything gets restored sooner than you expect it.

If you do learn to jump from pond to pond, from one environment to another, from one world to another, you will become fearless and unstoppable. You won’t worry anymore about the fear of failure or change. Change truly is the one thing that will never change.

FEED ON YOUR FEAR

I want you to understand me correctly, there is nothing wrong about being scared to fail but it’s wrong when it keeps you from doing what you really envisioned. Steven Pressfield calls it ‘Resistance’ in his book The War of Art. The level of Resistance you experience affects the clarity of your vision, your goal, your dream, you Journey. The more Resistance you experience, the surer you will be that it’s the best thing for your growth and development. The more scared you are of something you want to do, the more you need to do it to overcome your limitations. What are the things that you want to do, and are scared of? What are your limitations? What don’t you know? Figure out what it is and pursue it. If you know your limitations, you can adapt and succeed. If you don’t know them you are going to get hurt. You will see more growth and fulfillment from this journey than form anything else you could do I life.

It is never a problem to overshoot your potential because if you really want it you will find a way.

FAILURES DON’T DEFINE US

Failures aren’t pleasant but they are inevitable part of your success. Failures don’t define your success. Failures don’t define who you are. If you measure your life by how much money you make, by the place you live in, by the car you drive, by your job title, by your position in the corporation, by how you dress, by how you look or what you eat, if this is the kind of success you are looking for you are destined to be disappointed.

By failing and learning from your experience you are making progress. You get smarter and try again until you get it right. You can be sure that nothing works for the first time. Never. I see failure as a feedback on my actions. Put yourself in a position where you are forced to go forward and there is no other place to go. The true failure comes to the picture only when you stop trying. Believe in yourself. Go for growth and start your Journey. 

Are you able to overcome your fear now?

OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Every master was once a disaster - T. Harv Eker

#ONE

What’s stopping you from taking action? Why do you keep procrastinating? The number one thing stopping all of us from taking any sort of action is fear of failure. We are engineered to avoid pain and we associate fear with pain. From our first days in schools we are being wired not to fail. Our modern societies prize and appreciate only the students who finish on the first try. How about those who make it last? Those who are overcoming fear of failure, fail ten times in a row but stay tenacious and keep on going?

IT’S OK

How to overcome fear of failure? Make it OK to fail. Failure means progress. Don’t be fearful of failing because that’s an inevitable part of learning. Fears are just simple thoughts that we turn into complex problems. We are rerunning the same problems over and over in our head. Rethinking it and not making any decision. What leads to associating pain to this matter. The true failure is not taking action at all. Lack of action is my worst fear.

LACK OF CONTROL

The number one reason for most of fears is lack of control over our mind and our mental state. If you don’t take full control over your mind, you are just simply sitting on a time bomb. I can assure you that if you don’t be conscious and deliberate in your actions, one-day this time bomb will explode. Then you will truly suffer. Then you will wish you did something earlier but it’s going to be too late.   

EXPOSE YOUR FEAR

Our capabilities are much more powerful than most of us think. We truly have the power to control our fear. Let’s start doing that from defining what is fear actually? What we are so scared of? What and how it’s going to hurt us? Once you answer to all those questions you will be able to understand it and then it will not be so scary anymore. The more you understand something, the more confidence you have in that area. Ignorance and unawareness are the fuel to that fear machine.

Stop pouring fuel into machine that is killing your action potential.  Stop thinking about your fear. Fear is not physical. The only place your fear exists is your mind. Nowhere else. Your mind. Change your mindset.

TYPES OF PAIN

We must change our focus. To be able to reorient our mindset we have to be aware of there are three types of pain that we fear:

 

1. Loss pain.

We fear that if we do this new thing or change any part of your life we will experience loss. Because of that we like to say: I don’t want to do it. I’m scared to try it because I might loss something that I like, I might loss my job, my relationship, my security, I might loss that predictability of my life. Part of reorienting your life is to start focusing on the things that you are going to gain instead of the things you are going to loss. I might loss the sense of security for a short period but in a long term I will gain freedom.  

 

2. Process pain.   

It’s hard to make any major change in life. Regardless of the area of your life the process of change is hard and it requires a lot of effort. Doing anything new is hard. I bet it was hard to learn to read, right? You probably don’t remember that. How about learning a new language? Swimming? Driving a car? Was it easy?

At first you don’t know how to do those thing. You don’t have any competency in those areas yet. Being a total newbie you don’t even know what you don’t know. You’re not sure how it’s going to go. It is all very scary, that’s why so many times we don’t take that risk and we don’t try to change.

Try to see that process of change as a game. Challenges as the best way to learn and develop new skills. It can be fun, joyful, and new. Look forward to the process change.  

 

3. Result pain.

In the end we fear the final effect is not going to be what we have expected. We think what if we do all those thing and we don’t succeed, we will be a failure. What happen then?

Many times we wonder What if the grass isn’t any greener there? What if it isn’t not any better?

Reframe that thinking and constantly focus on positive outcome. What are you going to gain? How great are you going to feel? How this will benefit your life? What’s going to be wonderful about it?