Self-Esteem or Self-Confidence?
Well, both. What’s the difference between confidence and self-esteem? The definitions of the words self-esteem and self-confidence are often used interchangeably when referring to how people feel about themselves. People often talk about them together, but they’re actually very different. Sometimes they go along each other but that’s not always the case. Of course people who have high self-esteem can also be very self-confident. On the other hand, quite often people with extreme self-confidence can have a very low self-esteem.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall. How much esteem, positive regard or self-love you have. Self-esteem develops from experiences and situations that have shaped how you view yourself today.
What is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence on the other hand is how you feel about your abilities. It can vary from situation to situation. Self-confidence is related to action. It’s your belief that you can succeed at something. Your friend can be a confident that she is a good manager but she’s not at all that confident about speaking in public.
The other thing you have to have in mind that your self-confidence can sometimes be mistaken with arrogance. There is a very thin line between those two but being sincere and humble will help you stay on the good side of that line.
Can they go together?
As mentioned before there’s no doubt about it. When you love yourself, your self-esteem improves, which makes you more confident. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your overall sense of esteem. You can work on both at the same time.
How to build Self-Confidence?
You all need to understand is that self-confidence is a skill. So you build it just like any other skill. You learn it. You practice it. And master it. Surprised? I know many people who actually would be very surprised and disappointed that it’s not something given to people and they just weren’t lucky enough to get it. They often think they were just not blessed with this gift so there’s nothing they can do about it. Until they change that belief they won’t do anything to build their self-confidence. Some of them never try to confront and change that belief.
It’s a skill
Without that skill you can never shine in any area of life. Some of the greatest athletes are shy in front of the camera but on the field they are as confident as a charging bull. Self-confidence is the ability to believe that you are able to accomplish anything you decide to. The odds, the difficulty, the adversity, it all does not matter. What really matter is that it can be learned. So what does it take to learn it?
Well, all it takes is one thing. Only one thing.
Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. No one is born self-confident. Just like anything else it takes time. It is a process. It is a Journey.
THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM
How to build Self-Esteem? There are 6 practices that can help you tremendously which where described in “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” written by Nathaniel Branden.
1. The practice of living consciously.
All of us have more knowledge than we normally are aware of. More wisdom than we use. More potential than typically shows up in our behavior. Unfortunately, most of us are sleep-walking thought our existence. We need to start paying attention to what we are actually doing. We need to act with a purpose and intention.
2. The practice of self-acceptance.
Improve what you can change and learn to accept what you can’t. Let me address a common issue. There are people who think that self-acceptance somehow goes against self-improvement. It’ doesn’t. In fact, self-improvement can only follow self-acceptance. Accept yourself. Accept your advantages. Accept your disadvantages and those you already can.
3. The practice of self-responsibility.
Very often people use a certain excuse to explain why they are doing what they’re doing or not doing anything. I don’t train because I have a medical condition. Does this ring a bell? Have you heard it before? That’s a very easy way out because there’s always something you could be doing to improve your fitness. Don’t give yourself this easy way out.
4. The practice of self-assertiveness.
Staying authentic to our true self under pressure. Be grounded in what you believe in. Don’t say you sort of believe in it. You need to fully stand for what you believe in. 100 % unapologetic. It doesn’t mean lacking social awareness or to be pushy and start converting other people to your beliefs. But don’t go against your authentic self.
5. The practice of living purposefully.
If you will live your life with a purpose you will have a higher self-esteem. That’s one of the reasons why athletes or entrepreneurs have such high self-esteem. They do what they do with a purpose in mind. Not only they know what’s at the end of that road, they see themselves already there. They know it’s going to be tough but that’s never the reason to stop.
6. The practice of personal integrity.
If you are going to act against what you believe in your inner voice will tell you over and over how worthless you are. Only you will know, but when it comes to self-esteem, your inner voice is the one that matters the most. You can’t have the voice in your head telling you how worthless you are and build self-esteem at the same time.
Notice how each pillar starts with ‘practice of’. Self-esteem is not something you build by reading this article, by reading a book or watching a video. Self-esteem, just like self-confidence, is a skill. It’s something you build by constant practice for the rest of your life. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.
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