LIFE AFTER HOLIDAY…

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OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing - Dale Carnegie

Is there even a life after it?

Most of us find it extremely hard to get back to our duties after being on holiday. In best cases scenario, we are only distracted and a lot slower for couple of days. Unfortunately, way to often it goes far beyond that. Many of us feel disappointed, frustrated, deceived, sometimes even scared or depressed. Sound heavy but it’s not a joke.

 

Fear of the unknown

We know it’s coming. We know we have to get back to work. We’ve done it many times. We know we’ll have to go through it again and we set our self that it’s going to be hard. Everybody around us says that it’s rough and nasty. And we fall for that. It takes us at least a week to get back to life and we seem to be everywhere but here and now.

 

Reminders of reality

We are constantly asked How fun it was? What did you do? Where have you been? We are constantly reminded we are back to worse reality. That our time there was a dream. This is what’s real and it sucks! But why does it suck? Do we really think so or is it someone else’s idea?

 

Why does it suck?

For me it’s a matter of mindset and our own decisions. If you will be only thinking that something great is over and now you have to go back to your grey, boring and unfulfilling job, don’t be surprised that you’re going to feel the same way. Let me just tell you that those are not your thoughts. This is a mindset that is everywhere around you and you just didn’t figure it could be any different. It can. What’s even more important you can do it too.

 

Reverse engineer

Reverse engineer your unconscious way thinking. Don’t think about all the things you hate about going back to work. Don’t think about waking up early. Don’t think about the backlog and overload of work you’re going to have. Don’t think about co-workers you can’t stand. Don’t think about those boring assignments. The list goes on and on.

 

How much do you love it?

Start thinking about all those things you love and like about your job. All the chances you have to work on yourself, your skills, your character, your resume and experience. Think that this job gave you money to go on those wonderful holidays. Now you can start saving for the next trip. Isn’t this exciting? It surely is for me. Think about all the colleagues you love to joke around or learn from. Remind yourself how much they are giving you and how much you’re giving in return. How great does it feel to get back home after a tough day at work? How much do you love to sleep at your own bad? This could be even a longer list if you choose to. Being on holiday for half of your life won’t get you any closer to your dreams. Not a bit. So, think about your purpose, your plan, your dream, your vision. In order to get there, you need to get back to work. There is no other way.

 

Find a way

Just to get one thing straight I’m trying to convince you to paint the grass green. If you hate your job and if it suffocates you, change it. Some of you are going to say easier said than done Mr. smarty pants. But you know what’s even harder for most of us? It’s making a decision that you’re going to find a better job. Not wishing. Not looking for a job. Not going sending applications and going for interviews. The crucial part is making the decision that you are already out and now you are going to find a better job. From now on it’s a matter of time. If it’s not possible today don’t cry about it. Work on yourself harder than you work on your job. Build your resume. Acquired news skills and sharpen those that you already have. Pay attention, learn, get inspired, model the masters in your field. Decide to find a way.  

 

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30 DAYS ON MENTAL DIET ISLAND

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30 DAYS ON MENTAL DIET ISLAND

If you want to take the island, then burn your boats. With absolute commitment come the insights that create real victory – Tony Robbins

Equipment

As some of you know on the 5th of September I have started 30 day’s Mental Diet. 30 days on Mental Diet Island. It wasn’t a desert island and that was making it harder to stay there. Before I got there I had to throw some things into the ocean. I was not allowed to take things like gossip, judging, cursing, negativity, complaining or excuses with me. What I could take was smile, positive thinking, energy and 90 seconds grenade.

 

Documenting

It wasn’t anything new for me but for the first time I was documenting it on Snapchat and Instagram Stories. From 1 to 5 short movies a day and some additional pictures. Since I didn’t have much experience in recording myself while speaking this was a pretty big challenge for me, as you could see. Just like most of you I really don’t like to hear myself speak. While in my mind I had some much energy in my voice, on camera it sounded like I was falling asleep. While I was trying to speak calm, informative and with a scripted timbre and ton it sounded nothing like I wanted. Very quickly I came the conclusion that I’m not an actor and it’s a lot better just to be myself.

 

Walk the walk

Those moments when I was documenting all this on Snapchat and Instagram gave me this extra boost of energy. They allowed me to stay in line and on point with my plan for Mental Diet. When I was recording each video I had to take a step back and look on current experiences from a much further perspective. Since I was talking about being positive, smiling and not judging, gossiping complaining and not having excuses it was all over my mind. I had to eat my own dog food and there was no chance to fail in front all of you. If I was going to talk the talk, I had to walk the walk.

 

Up to a good start

Doing my morning routines gave me an incredible level of inner peace, patience and kept me looking towards on my goals and my vision.

Just to give you a quick recap of my morning routine:

  1. 3 min smile in front of the mirror smile (usually a fake smileJ) while thinking about 3 things I am grateful.
  2. 20 push-ups to wake up my body and get the blood flowing.
  3. 3 Visualization. Starting from my biggest task for today, then going further to my dreams and real vision.

I missed my morning routine only three times during those 30 days and every time it felt really hard. It made me feel impatient, rushed or anxious and that was something I really wanted to avoid. Executing with my morning routine did a great job in this department.

 

No excuses

Some days where better, others where a lot harder just like our life. But this was not an excuse for me. There was no place for a cheat day. No. I was all in. Feeling sick or tired? Not an excuse. Listening to screams of my baby girl for over 30 minutes? Not an excuse. Falling on my own plans? Not an excuse. It’s truly remarkable feeling to throw away all the excuses you had stashed in your closet. Once I got rid of them I had to and I start acting. Now it’s a total waste of time and energy for me to look for any excuses.

 

Divorce

Besides excuses I also had to divorced gossip, judging, negativity and complaining. Of course it’s not a fairy tale and it was not all perfect. But besides a few accidents it was a remarkable experience. If I could urge you to one thing this would be it. Stop complaining and judging people around you. Not judging others will allow you to develop a lot more empathy and that’s the first step to understanding them better. Complaining is the poison that we spread around our body. It’s eating us alive. It doesn’t serve anyone any good.  So why feed it?

 

Safety Valve

90 second rule was just a safety valve. I used it not more 5, maybe 7 times but it helped much more than that. It was always in my hindsight. It was always within my reach in case I would need it. That gave me incredible safety cushion and certainty that I can deal with everything.

 

Bright side

Looking on the brighter side of life was not as easy as it sounds in songs. Why?  Because we are wired differently. It’s a different life when life’s a gift every moment or when it’s not and you ‘re able to find the gift. This brain we all have is 2 million years old and it’s not design to make me or you happy. It’s design to make us survive. To survive we have to look for what could go wrong so the mind is always looking for what’s wrong. What’s wrong is always available. There is always something to feel upset about.  But so is what’s right. You really can rewire your nervous system so that you live in a place where gratitude, joy, the sense of grace and all those things that make us fully alive are in your life on a daily basis. If they’re not, you know what to do to bring them back. As oppose to hoping things go well, being pissed off when they don’t or feeling overwhelmed or stressed.  

 

Perspective

How do I didn’t get frustrated or angry? I took a step back and told myself: It’s not live and death. That’s just work. That’s just this or that. Don’t make it too important. Perspective is everything. Marcus Aurelius considered life as a hidden blessing. Mental Diet reassured me in believing that Marcus Aurelius was right. Now I’m totally convinced that life is a hidden blessing.

 

Beauty of life

No one teaches us to feel the beauty of life. We are not thought of being associated day in and day out even when it’s not going our way, even if we lose that deal, even if we don’t make that sale, even if our project gets crushed.  If you can find joy, pleasure and appreciation it those moments now you’ll have magnificent life and nothing is going to stop you. You will achieve more too because you have more energy and you are not sucked in with all those inner conflicts that pull the energy out of you. Then you have the energy for your wife, your husband, your kids, your business at the same level.

How do I have so much energy? Because I am not divided within myself. I’m aligned. I know what I’m after, who I am, I know what I want to create and I’m enjoying every moment of it.  Smile, enjoy it and don’t expect anything in return. 

 

Prove them wrong

There are always people telling you that you will not be able to do it. Forget it. It’s a stupid dream you have. Crazy vision. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Know where you are going.

If you think that you’re going to go, accomplish something really special, be the best at anything in the world and you think you can do it without working, you are making huge mistake. It’s going take a lots, lots of work. You will have to sacrifice a lot of things but there is nothing more valuable than being happy.

 

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