Many of us have been in that awful place, when we felt we can’t get out. We felt trapped or completely lost. We didn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. Trapped in our past, in our current circumstances, in other people’s expectations, in our own limitations. Even though we were certain that we have tried every possible way, we felt that we couldn’t break free. At this point of life, we felt it’s absolutely pointless.
When we get thrown into that cage we fight to get out at first. We look for a way out. We grind, we run around, but after some time we resign. Just like that. We find a comfortable place in the back of the cage and we sit there for the rest of our lives. A lot of us never get up from that corner. We sit there disappointed, angry and frustrated. We watch our live as it goes by from behind the bars of that cage. How sad does this sound? Well, that’s not you, right? It’s not me either! But are we sure? It’s a lot easier to see that in others than ourselves.
Just by listening you can actually tell if a person is trapped there. People who are stuck in this cage, look at the world from this perspective. People who are stuck in this cage look at all successful people and think they were born with all the blessings, they were just lucky. You can often hear them blindly repeat They don’t understand me. No one understands me. My circumstances are different. I didn’t have all that. It’s easy for them. Those people are fully convinced that no one can understand them. The great tragedy is that their anger separates them from other people. In result they are less likely to ask for help and they are the ones who need in the most. This kind of life over a period of time feels really miserable. Blind convictions can really take us to the middle of that lonely desert.
How can anyone escape from that cage? How to break out of this mental prison? It’s just like escaping from prison in action movies. You will either rely on and expect the external help or you will figure it out internally and execute it by yourself. In most cases we need it all to break out.
In most cases our convictions and beliefs get changed only by two things:
1. External stimulus.
Something new has to come to our life, new circumstances, new person and somehow it makes us break the chains. This new element propels the change. It’s a spark that starts a huge fire. It’s an outside push that makes us jump over the edge.
2. Internal stimulus.
Something new has to come out of us. Different decision about who we are going to be. Different decision about what we’re going to go after. Different decision about how hard we are going to work. About what we truly demand of ourselves every single day. About what we want to become and achieve. We finally get convinced that conscious choices are the only thing that can limit our life. It’s not our circumstances. It’s not requirements and demands of others.
Your fate is your merit. You set your own cage. You build your own bars but remember you know where the doors are and only you have the right combination to open them. No one will do it for you. Your friends, your family members, your mentor or coach can only give you hints and tips but only you can figure out the combination for your life. You’ve build it and you’ve to break out of it.
It’s going to take a lot of work to get out and feel absolute freedom. But you will never regret it. Soon after you get out, the life feels more comfortable. You feel overflowing sense of satisfaction, a greater confidence about who you are, where you’re going, higher degree of competence, skills, knowledge. You have control over your live once again.
Unfortunately, over a period of time we feel a sense of a restlessness. Maybe there is something more? When people are in this state and they are asked the question How is everything going? They often just replay It’s fine. It is an instant signal that they are probably not excited about the things they do. Their actions are not giving them satisfaction and joy. They might be challenging themselves just to survive, not to grow and expend. Why do I think so? When you challenge yourself, you feel energized, engaged, enthusiastic, happy and fulfilled. You challenge yourself to stretch physically mentally and spiritually. You know tomorrow is going to be better than today because you are progressing step by step. You know tomorrow by your simple choices, by your simple set of habits that you are going to evolve into better version of yourself.
You can shift your identity. If you are going to the gym your story can be I want to look a little better before summer or it is I’m going to have the best body, I can have. I’m going to be an athlete. That a huge difference in approach. Your actions and your mindset are going to be different. Your identity and your story must align with your values.
If you want to go to the next level your values are going to have to change. If you are still not taking action it means that your values are not in line with your vision. You value sleeping or watching TV more than your dreams. You value eating whatever you can grab more than being healthy. You value complaining and whining more than taking your destiny in your hands. Be honest with yourself, what are your values? What do you value most? What do you love? So why do you keep on doing something different? To live a life, you really want for yourself, your action need to reflect your values. There is no other way. If you want to be healthy or if you want to have a great body, you need to exercise and eat healthy. If you want to master Excel, you need to practice. If you want to be great salesman, you need to study what makes people buy and practice. It all takes a lot of effort, time and failures but it’s worth it.
Your life is totally up to you. Everyone can, whether you will or not that’s the question. There is only one guarantee in life if you don’t take action, there will be no outcome.
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