LIFE AFTER HOLIDAY…

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OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing - Dale Carnegie

Is there even a life after it?

Most of us find it extremely hard to get back to our duties after being on holiday. In best cases scenario, we are only distracted and a lot slower for couple of days. Unfortunately, way to often it goes far beyond that. Many of us feel disappointed, frustrated, deceived, sometimes even scared or depressed. Sound heavy but it’s not a joke.

 

Fear of the unknown

We know it’s coming. We know we have to get back to work. We’ve done it many times. We know we’ll have to go through it again and we set our self that it’s going to be hard. Everybody around us says that it’s rough and nasty. And we fall for that. It takes us at least a week to get back to life and we seem to be everywhere but here and now.

 

Reminders of reality

We are constantly asked How fun it was? What did you do? Where have you been? We are constantly reminded we are back to worse reality. That our time there was a dream. This is what’s real and it sucks! But why does it suck? Do we really think so or is it someone else’s idea?

 

Why does it suck?

For me it’s a matter of mindset and our own decisions. If you will be only thinking that something great is over and now you have to go back to your grey, boring and unfulfilling job, don’t be surprised that you’re going to feel the same way. Let me just tell you that those are not your thoughts. This is a mindset that is everywhere around you and you just didn’t figure it could be any different. It can. What’s even more important you can do it too.

 

Reverse engineer

Reverse engineer your unconscious way thinking. Don’t think about all the things you hate about going back to work. Don’t think about waking up early. Don’t think about the backlog and overload of work you’re going to have. Don’t think about co-workers you can’t stand. Don’t think about those boring assignments. The list goes on and on.

 

How much do you love it?

Start thinking about all those things you love and like about your job. All the chances you have to work on yourself, your skills, your character, your resume and experience. Think that this job gave you money to go on those wonderful holidays. Now you can start saving for the next trip. Isn’t this exciting? It surely is for me. Think about all the colleagues you love to joke around or learn from. Remind yourself how much they are giving you and how much you’re giving in return. How great does it feel to get back home after a tough day at work? How much do you love to sleep at your own bad? This could be even a longer list if you choose to. Being on holiday for half of your life won’t get you any closer to your dreams. Not a bit. So, think about your purpose, your plan, your dream, your vision. In order to get there, you need to get back to work. There is no other way.

 

Find a way

Just to get one thing straight I’m trying to convince you to paint the grass green. If you hate your job and if it suffocates you, change it. Some of you are going to say easier said than done Mr. smarty pants. But you know what’s even harder for most of us? It’s making a decision that you’re going to find a better job. Not wishing. Not looking for a job. Not going sending applications and going for interviews. The crucial part is making the decision that you are already out and now you are going to find a better job. From now on it’s a matter of time. If it’s not possible today don’t cry about it. Work on yourself harder than you work on your job. Build your resume. Acquired news skills and sharpen those that you already have. Pay attention, learn, get inspired, model the masters in your field. Decide to find a way.  

 

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ONE PHONE CALL AWAY

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
ONE PHONE CALL AWAY

No one wants to die. Even the people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it – Steve Jobs

We are just a doctor’s visit away or phone call away from being starkly reminded with the fact of our own mortality or those closest to us. You must know how uncanny it is to suddenly be thrown out of the normal course of your life and just be given a full-time job of not dying or carrying for someone. We rarely think about it but it may happen to all of us.

 

Petty concerns

The one thing we tend to realize in moments like this it that we’ve wasted a lot of time when life was normal. It’s not just what we did with that time. It’s not just that we’ve spend too much time working or compulsively checking emails. It’s that we’ve cared about wrong things. It the moments like this we often regret what we’ve cared about. Our attention was bound up in petty concerns year after year when life was normal.

 

Forever?

Deep inside we all know it may come in an instant. Don’t you know that? Don’t you know that there’s going to come a day when you’ll be sick or someone close to you will die. You will look back on the kind of things that captured your attention and you will say What was I doing? You know this and yet if you’re like most people you’ll spend most of your time in life presuming you’re going to live forever.

 

Unexpectedly

We take for granted so much that everyday we’re just going to wake up and that we are going to go through the same routines get to see the same people. That those people are going to be there when we come home at night. That every day is going to be the same way like the other but right now when you’re reading this there are hundreds of people whose life was taken by surprise. Unexpectedly. 

 

Reaper will come

Even if you live to be hundred there’s not that my days in life. Way too many of us are trying to check the boxes of the things that do not really interest us. In doing that we’re wasting majority of our life. Shortly before his death Randy Pausch ‘We don't beat the Grim Reaper by living longer, we beat the Reaper by living well and living fully, for the Reaper will come for all of us. The question is what do we do between the time we are born and the time he shows up. It's too late to do all the things that you're gonna kinda get around to… It is not the things we do in life that we regret on our death bed. It is the things we do not. I assure you I've done a lot of really stupid things, and none of them bother me. All the mistakes, and all the dopey things, and all the times I was embarrassed — they don't matter. What matters is that I can kind of look back and say: Pretty much any time I got chance to do something cool I tried to grab for it — and that's where my solace comes from.’

 

Find you passion

You will need find your passion. Many of you have already done it, many of you will later, many of you may take to your thirties or forties, but don't give up on finding it. Right, then all you are doing is waiting for the reaper. Find your passion and follow it. And if there is anything that I have learned in life, you will not find that passion in things. And you will not find that passion in money. Because the more things and the more money you have, the more you will just look around and use that as the metric — and there will always be someone with more. Your passion must come from the things that fuel you from the inside. And honors and awards are nice things, but only to the extent that they regard real respect from your peers. And to be thought of well by people you think of more highly up is a tremendous honor I've been granted. Find your passion, and in my experience, no matter what you do at work or what you do in in official settings, that passion will be grounded in people. It will be grounded in the relationships you have with people and what they think of you when your time comes – Randy Pausch

 

Darkness

You see when are in that darkness you want to sit there and wait for the light to come. When you’re in that darkness it feels uncomfortable and the only way out is to step forward to face your fears, to become your own light. Make a decision right now that when you are going to be in that darkens you will remember the power of you. Nobody is going to take you out of that darkness. You have to push yourself out of it. When you have that bourdon upon you that’s when it’s time to fuel yourself up. There is a light somewhere. It may not be much light but it beats the darkness. You can’t beat death but you can beat death in life.  

 

3 things

Your disease does not define you. It can take all your physical abilities, but it cannot touch your mind, it cannot touch your heart and it cannot touch your soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.

 

With passion

Realize that time is very precious to all of us. Neither of us knows how much we have left. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. Live your life with passion. Laugh. Think. Cry. Be enthusiastic every day. Be grateful for every day you have left.

Enjoy your life. Your life matters and it matters for a lot of people.

Love you Dad

ONE PHONE CALL AWAY

WHAT MAKES THE RICH GET RICHER AND POOR GET POORER?

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WHAT MAKES THE RICH GET RICHER AND POOR GET POORER?

After a rich man gets rich, his next ambition is to get richer

The holy grail of belief, the holy grail of momentum, the true difference between what makes the rich get richer and poor get poorer is mindset (“Three decision you make”). I’m not rediscovering the wheel, we all know that the difference is mindset but how’s that build? It’s about four things. Potential. Actions. Results. Beliefs

 

Potential

The first thing that determines whether you can do something or not is Potential. What’s the potential of a human being? I’m totally convinced that there are no limitations to our potencial.

Roger Banister was the first human to run a mile under 4 minutes, 

How did he do it? Roger Banister didn’t just practice physically. He made a shift in his head. He practiced it in his head because he could never achieve it physically. He had to make a change in his head first so the result became certain enough to believed it and his body got him through. After Roger Banister run that 4-minute mile within 2 years 37 people run a mile under 4 minutes. 37 people in 2 years. Before Roger did it no one has done it in history. No one!

 

Vicious circle

The potential for anybody is extraordinary. They can do whatever they want.  Whether they tap into that potential has a lot to do with action they take. Action they take is going to turn in results they get. That’s pretty obvious.

Most people have a belief what their real potential is no matter what you try to show them. That directly influences how much action they take and of course that affects the result. Ironically that result reinforces their belief and that belief affects potential. It’s a vicious circle. It can be going like that forever. Are you ready for it?  

 

Our own prophecy

I’ll give you an example. Let’s say a person has unlimited potential but they take little action. They get small results. Why?  Because they have a problem with their belief. They don’t believe it will really going to happened for them. It may happen for you. Maybe for someone else but not for them. If you believe that there is very little potential how much action are you going to take? Very little. You take little potential, little action and what kind of results do you get? Lousy little results and then you say See, I told you this was a waste of time. I told you it wouldn’t work. And then what happens you tap into even less potential, you take even less action, you get worse results, your belief gets even weaker. This can go on for your entire life if you won’t stop it. It poisonous and it’s self-fulfilling. Very often we are living our own prophecy.

 

 

Certainty

What if something could happen that could come along and fill you with the sense of absolute certainty.  Not like I believe but when you know. If you get yourself in the sense of certainty that this is going to work, that you’re going to find a way and if this won’t work you will find a new way then you tap into a lot more potential. When you’re certain with your potential you take massive action. When you take massive action and you really believe in something you get great results. When you get great results, your brain goes See, I told you this was a great idea I told you I can do it. I told you this thing would work out. Now you’re even stronger. You tap into more potential. You take greater actions. You get greater results. That’s how the rich get richer and poor get poorer. That’s very simple.

 

Result in your head

Some people go and say I’m going to take a bunch of action. I’m going to try it. It’s like a salesman would say You don’t want one of these, do you? The core difference in people is how do they produce certainty when the world isn’t giving it to them. How some people keep on going? They don’t change their potential. It’s not even about taking more action because taking more actions without belief is not going to change anything. They get results in their head that made them feel certain that it has already happened. 

 

Reinforce your belief

It’s getting yourself so certain that now when you actually go and do it there is no hesitancy and you execute. It’s having an absolute certainty that makes you tap in your full potential, take massive action, get massive results and be reinforced to have stronger belief. This what makes someone a star at anything.

 

Condition yourself

People are uncertain if they are going to succeed or not. They want it but they are afraid. Future seems very blurry. Have big enough reason that makes you have to succeed or condition yourself to see it and feel it so often that you’re certain and you actually do it. You can go to every seminar, you can get the greatest coach, you can read every book, every article but until you condition yourself to see it and feel it you won’t succeed. You’ve got to make it a must and you’ve got to make it a ritual.

 

Rich get richer because they are getting more potential, taking greater action, getting greater results and they are reinforcing their beliefs.

 

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WHAT MAKES THE RICH GET RICHER AND POOR GET POORER?

WHY WE DON’T DO?

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WHY WE DON’T DO?

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do – Bruce Lee

Sounds great but how to do it? First try to change the question you ask yourself from ‘What’s most important to me?’ to ‘What do my values needs to be to succeed? Values are the emotional states that we believe are most important for us to either experience or avoid. Values determines what you focus on. They control what you know and don’t know. They control what you do and don’t do. What’s important and what’s not. Values and beliefs are directly responsible for our neglect and procrastination. Values and beliefs are the place where we will find the answer to Why we don’t do.

 

Preferences

Every decision in your life is determined by your beliefs and values. So many of us like to declare out preferences and say out loud what we want. Unfortunately for us those preferences are far different from the preferences we actually reveal and actions we undertake. Success does not come from your talking. It comes from your actions. 

 

Leverage

How about inactions of others? Can you change people who don’t want to change? The answer is simple. Off course you can. All you need is the right kind of leverage. Some people rather die than let you tell them what to do but all of us have a leverage point. If you get enough leverage and if you interrupt the pattern you can make anyone to change. If you are conscious enough you can create a new pattern. If all it takes is leverage, why most people want do it?  Main source of that are your beliefs.

 

Insane beliefs

Can we have beliefs that make no sense, yet still believe them? Sure. The only way people change is when they associate it with enough pain or pleasure. And ideally both. If you are doing something constantly and every time you get more and more pain, you will get to a point when you must change. On the other hand, getting pleasure fuels the process of change. It is like with a glass of soda. After drinking the first one you will want more and more. Drinking more soda will not make your thirst go away.  You need to break that pattern and go for water not soda. At first it might not give you the taste you expect but it the long run you will really enjoy the outcome.

 

Weak Foundations

With every next experience your beliefs are getting stronger. Remember you are like a magnificent building and your beliefs are your foundations. You can be remarkable design with outstanding facade but if you are built on weak foundations, pillars or in a swampy area, you will collapse spectacularly. Take care of your foundations. Take care of your beliefs.

 

Pain and Pleasure links

What equals pain and what equals pleasure is deeply wired in your nervous system. In order to change you need to change what you link pain and pleasure within your nervous system, not just in your head. Very often you know what to do but you still don’t do it. Sounds familiar? It means that links to your nervous system took over. Some of you link pain to the things you need to do, like making that phone calls, like exercising, asking for help, going to work or coming home. Sometimes you escape making a change because you think how good it was in the past. If your present is painful you escape to the past to run from the pressure to change or you escape to the future because no one knows exactly how it’s going to go. But if your brain links that it is was painful in the past, it is painful now and it will be painful in the future, the change will happen instantly.

 

Past outcomes

How much do you think your past outcomes alter your future decision and actions? We love to think we have a freewill to do whatever and whenever we want. The truth of the matter is that most of us are massively hardwired to our past and it’s an excellent prognostic for our future. It happens for one reason only. One reason. We allow our past to be an unconquerable limitation. It deforms our beliefs. It restricts our thoughts. It destroys our actions. Don’t let our past to destroy our future. Leave your past behind you.

 

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LIMITING BELIEFS

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LIMITING BELIEFS

Beliefs have power to create and the power to destroy – Tony Robbins

From the time we are born we all have and experience different disadvantages. What’s your disadvantage? Are you dyslectic? Are you from a small town? Are you an immigrant?  Did you have a tough childhood? Have you been raised in a broken family? Are you short? Are your tall? Are you’re a woman? Maybe a man? Is your race different? Religion? You are unique and there’s no doubt about that but guess what? We all have many disadvantages.  What you see as a blessing can be disadvantage do someone else.  

 

Playing the wrong cards

Why are we worrying such much about our disadvantages? Why are we so focused on problems, on our limiting beliefs? I don’t have what it takes. I don’t have time, skills, knowledge, money, self-confidence to do it? I’m not strong enough. I’m not disciplined enough. I don’t deserve it.  Why do we put so much emphasis on mental weakness, instead of mental strength? We constantly focus on what’s wrong with our life. Even at work we are conditioned to identify our weakness and find solutions, so we can get better with our weakness. Why we are playing the wrong cards?

 

Average

From the time you are little kids, you are told to work on your weakness and to be good all around. Your parents expect you to be good in every class. The biggest value to your parents, teachers, schools and even society is your grade point average. Average of your grades! Have you ever thought about it? What world are we really trying to build?  Do we really want to live in world of mediocre people? Average. Mediocre. Medium. Blend. Vanilla. Is that it?     

 

Remarkable

You know what? The player who’s good all-around would never be a star. A star is player who’s remarkable at this on, two or four things but really sucks at the rest. If you want to be remarkable at anything you need to shine. Why don’t you bet on your uniqueness? Why don’t you bet on our strengths, your passions? It’s not even your limiting beliefs, it’s your limiting vision of who you are and what you are capable of. ­­We are all remarkable most of us don’t know it just yet. 

 

Focus

You don’t just change your limiting beliefs. You have to change your entire focus of what you’re looking at. In most cases your focus is send straight to your limiting things instead of those empowering capabilities. How much time do you focus on your weakness and worries, determines your destiny. How much attention do you give to your capabilities, opportunities, your vision? Is it enough?

 

Frames

Removing your limiting beliefs is a great start but that’s only the first step. You’re going to need a lot more than that. What’s going to help you is changing your focus on something bigger and greater about yourself. Change your dominant frame and focus. If you truly want to initiate change you can start by paying attention to three frames below. Do it at least for a week. Give it a go. You will be surprised how different your life can be right away. 

Three frames:

1. Greatness.

What if you take your focus from all your weakness and your insecurities, that you always had, and put your attention on your Greatness. Next time a big problem or issue come up, don’t focus on how big or hard it’s going to be to overcome it and focus on how much capabilities and strengths you already have to solve it. Give more relative weight and duration to what you would do on your best performance, your best day, best meeting, best game, best workout. Focus on the best you can be right now.

What’s magnificent about you? What are you capable of? Expose your greatness. Expose your best side.

 

2. Aliveness.

Choose to focus on your aliveness. Be fully alive and present in the moment. Feel more grateful for your life. Allow yourself to feel alive. Don’t wait to be energetic, don’t look for it, generate it. The level of your vital energy depend only on you. Don’t be just a spectator to your life, be a leading star instead.

 

3. Love.

What if you start loving your life? How would it be to act from the feeling of love? Give yourself permission to love more fully again.

Almost all of us had broken heart once in our lifetime. No surprise, I had a very broken heart myself. Some of us deal with this better, than others. I was absolutely and entirely in the second group.

 

Broken life

When my finance at the time, now wife, and I broke off with each other after 6-years, I was crushed. Quite quickly I have realized that it was almost only my fault, but I couldn’t let it go. I was fighting for it. The more I tried to fixed it, the more I was pushing her away. She moved to a different city. Although we didn’t have any contact with each other for a long time, I still could get myself together.  My world was closing on me. Fast. In addition to my broken heart, I couldn’t find a full time job. I was working as intern in Tax Office, in a convenience store during the summer, then in autumn and winter on construction site repairing and renovating a bridges.

 

Emotional blockade

For that whole year I was not allowing myself to love any part of my life. All my emotions were instantly blocked at the gate. It took me over a year to heal up my mental wounds and open up for a new relationship. Thanks to my very close friend Marcin, I found new passion in working out. I started to love my life again and I was ready to love again. I was getting back my self-confidence. For many of you it takes even longer and I know it’s hard but you want to speed-up the healing process. There in so much about your life that’s worth loving and living for. You can always start from loving the smallest things like encounters with your friends, family, your job or at least certain parts of it. Going out, being active, growing or progressing in something and working on yourself. Allow yourself to love your life again.

 

Dominant frame

Let’s turn your dominant frame to how magnificent and remarkable you really are. Let’s turn focus and frame from your past to your future. All our psychological journeys to the past only benefits us if they bring us back to this moment and allow us to make better decisions and choices. Greatness, aliveness and love are in you, why not focus on them?  

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LIMITING BELIEFS

30 DAYS ON MENTAL DIET ISLAND

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 7 minute read
30 DAYS ON MENTAL DIET ISLAND

If you want to take the island, then burn your boats. With absolute commitment come the insights that create real victory – Tony Robbins

Equipment

As some of you know on the 5th of September I have started 30 day’s Mental Diet. 30 days on Mental Diet Island. It wasn’t a desert island and that was making it harder to stay there. Before I got there I had to throw some things into the ocean. I was not allowed to take things like gossip, judging, cursing, negativity, complaining or excuses with me. What I could take was smile, positive thinking, energy and 90 seconds grenade.

 

Documenting

It wasn’t anything new for me but for the first time I was documenting it on Snapchat and Instagram Stories. From 1 to 5 short movies a day and some additional pictures. Since I didn’t have much experience in recording myself while speaking this was a pretty big challenge for me, as you could see. Just like most of you I really don’t like to hear myself speak. While in my mind I had some much energy in my voice, on camera it sounded like I was falling asleep. While I was trying to speak calm, informative and with a scripted timbre and ton it sounded nothing like I wanted. Very quickly I came the conclusion that I’m not an actor and it’s a lot better just to be myself.

 

Walk the walk

Those moments when I was documenting all this on Snapchat and Instagram gave me this extra boost of energy. They allowed me to stay in line and on point with my plan for Mental Diet. When I was recording each video I had to take a step back and look on current experiences from a much further perspective. Since I was talking about being positive, smiling and not judging, gossiping complaining and not having excuses it was all over my mind. I had to eat my own dog food and there was no chance to fail in front all of you. If I was going to talk the talk, I had to walk the walk.

 

Up to a good start

Doing my morning routines gave me an incredible level of inner peace, patience and kept me looking towards on my goals and my vision.

Just to give you a quick recap of my morning routine:

  1. 3 min smile in front of the mirror smile (usually a fake smileJ) while thinking about 3 things I am grateful.
  2. 20 push-ups to wake up my body and get the blood flowing.
  3. 3 Visualization. Starting from my biggest task for today, then going further to my dreams and real vision.

I missed my morning routine only three times during those 30 days and every time it felt really hard. It made me feel impatient, rushed or anxious and that was something I really wanted to avoid. Executing with my morning routine did a great job in this department.

 

No excuses

Some days where better, others where a lot harder just like our life. But this was not an excuse for me. There was no place for a cheat day. No. I was all in. Feeling sick or tired? Not an excuse. Listening to screams of my baby girl for over 30 minutes? Not an excuse. Falling on my own plans? Not an excuse. It’s truly remarkable feeling to throw away all the excuses you had stashed in your closet. Once I got rid of them I had to and I start acting. Now it’s a total waste of time and energy for me to look for any excuses.

 

Divorce

Besides excuses I also had to divorced gossip, judging, negativity and complaining. Of course it’s not a fairy tale and it was not all perfect. But besides a few accidents it was a remarkable experience. If I could urge you to one thing this would be it. Stop complaining and judging people around you. Not judging others will allow you to develop a lot more empathy and that’s the first step to understanding them better. Complaining is the poison that we spread around our body. It’s eating us alive. It doesn’t serve anyone any good.  So why feed it?

 

Safety Valve

90 second rule was just a safety valve. I used it not more 5, maybe 7 times but it helped much more than that. It was always in my hindsight. It was always within my reach in case I would need it. That gave me incredible safety cushion and certainty that I can deal with everything.

 

Bright side

Looking on the brighter side of life was not as easy as it sounds in songs. Why?  Because we are wired differently. It’s a different life when life’s a gift every moment or when it’s not and you ‘re able to find the gift. This brain we all have is 2 million years old and it’s not design to make me or you happy. It’s design to make us survive. To survive we have to look for what could go wrong so the mind is always looking for what’s wrong. What’s wrong is always available. There is always something to feel upset about.  But so is what’s right. You really can rewire your nervous system so that you live in a place where gratitude, joy, the sense of grace and all those things that make us fully alive are in your life on a daily basis. If they’re not, you know what to do to bring them back. As oppose to hoping things go well, being pissed off when they don’t or feeling overwhelmed or stressed.  

 

Perspective

How do I didn’t get frustrated or angry? I took a step back and told myself: It’s not live and death. That’s just work. That’s just this or that. Don’t make it too important. Perspective is everything. Marcus Aurelius considered life as a hidden blessing. Mental Diet reassured me in believing that Marcus Aurelius was right. Now I’m totally convinced that life is a hidden blessing.

 

Beauty of life

No one teaches us to feel the beauty of life. We are not thought of being associated day in and day out even when it’s not going our way, even if we lose that deal, even if we don’t make that sale, even if our project gets crushed.  If you can find joy, pleasure and appreciation it those moments now you’ll have magnificent life and nothing is going to stop you. You will achieve more too because you have more energy and you are not sucked in with all those inner conflicts that pull the energy out of you. Then you have the energy for your wife, your husband, your kids, your business at the same level.

How do I have so much energy? Because I am not divided within myself. I’m aligned. I know what I’m after, who I am, I know what I want to create and I’m enjoying every moment of it.  Smile, enjoy it and don’t expect anything in return. 

 

Prove them wrong

There are always people telling you that you will not be able to do it. Forget it. It’s a stupid dream you have. Crazy vision. Don’t listen to the naysayers. Know where you are going.

If you think that you’re going to go, accomplish something really special, be the best at anything in the world and you think you can do it without working, you are making huge mistake. It’s going take a lots, lots of work. You will have to sacrifice a lot of things but there is nothing more valuable than being happy.

 

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WHEN TO START?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
WHEN TO START?

Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Lao Tzu

When to start? When it is a good time to start? What do you think about NOW? Why not NOW? There never was a better time. There never will be a better time. Take this vision, take this Journey. Don’t let it expire. Don’t let it die. Take this vision give it a new lease of life. Take it and ignite the fire inside of you until finally it becomes a flame that burns around your whole world. Jump on this Journey and change your dreams into your reality. Most of people already know it on some level but they still don’t take any action. They don’t do anything about it. Knowledge is power only when you put it into action. Otherwise it’s totally redundant.

 

Make discipline your superpower

Once you learn about the power of habits, it’s going to change your life. Your habits are the reflection of your discipline or lack of it (see Habits are your wings). Discipline is one of the most important things that we can develop in our life. It’s a major factor to self-reliance and willfulness get things done on a continual basis. Without those skills you’ll never get that great amount of momentum and progress towards what you really want.  

And I bet there are a lot of areas of your life that could benefit from being more discipline. What’s the first one coming to your mind?  It can be doing your creative work, working out more often or eating healthier food. Whatever you may think of. Make discipline your superpower. Make discipline a major force in your life because without it you will not be able to grow consistently. Discipline is inseparable and core component of your Journey.

 

Change your story

Furthermore, it is a continuing and unstoppable journey itself. If you truly want to get on this boat, once and for all you need to leave that island of I don’t feel like it today. You can really change your story and you change it now. Anyone can start the Journey. Anyone. It is not the question of Could you do it? It is the question of Would you do it? And Would you do it NOW?

Start your Journey NOW. No matter how small or big is the new habit you want to develop, trust me you can begin NOW. It’s not the size that’s the problem. The real snag is whether or not you will ever start your Journey and whether or not you will go on to continue no matter the odds. 

 

Today. Right away. NOW.

We all know that creating new disciplines and habits, as well as improving the ones that already exist, are the things that gets us going towards our vision. So why don’t we follow on that knowledge? Why do we keep on walking in the opposite direction of our dreams? Remember that it’s not about greatness when you start, it’s about starting to get to greatness.   You don’t have to be fit to start working out. You don’t have to be wealthy to start a wealth plan. Anyone can start the Journey. You can live the healthy, happy and wealthy life right NOW. It can begin today. Start your Journey NOW. If you think of a new idea, today is a day to begin the discipline of putting that idea into action. Arrange all those habits that you need. Set up your day as a long, exciting and busy start for your new life. Leave your despair, your fears, your guilt of the past and start going forward. Start Today. Start right away. Start NOW.

 

Show up every day

Start small. It’s never about how big you start. You don’t want to get overwhelmed on the first day or in the first week. What’s more important is not to quit when you don’t see results at the beginning. Don’t let yourself get disappointed because you were too focused on the outcome, instead of the learning process. Every step you take along the way, every failed experiment, will add up and get you closer to your destination. Show up every day, be there, get to work, get it done. 

 

Turn towards your dream

We all want to be successful in certain areas of life. At least one of them. You might not admit it, you might not be aware of that, but that’s how it is. Success is an imprint of your disciplines and your habits. It might be invisible and obscure image for now. But you have to be patient and persistent because the effect might come a little later. Be patient and it will come.  Every cloud has a silver lining. Discipline means turning away from something comfortable towards something totally different. From not exercising to exercising. From drinking soda to drinking water. From not saving to saving. From being miserable at work, to loving it.

 

Your opportunity is here right now

Being successful means to me to be able to respond and actually anticipate the invitation of an upcoming opportunity. There is always an opportunity to grow, to develop, to become and to progress. But the biggest, the most fulfilling of all successes is making your life what you want it to be. Now the big question is What do you really want from life? What do you really want?

 

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WHEN TO START?

BE GRATEFUL

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BE GRATEFUL

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are charming gardeners who make our souls blossom – Marcel Proust

Call to action

This is my very personal call to all of you.  Please be grateful for all the moments you have with your loved ones. Cherish your life. Do not put it for later. Every single moment is special. Stop for that brief moment every day. Think about all the things you are grateful for.  You can reach your goals but without enthusiasm for your life you will never be happy. Be grateful for all those little things. Things you do for others. Things they do for you and do not expect anything in return. Smile even if no one else does. Say I love you even if no one else does.

 

Every moment is precious.

When Jim Valvano, great college basketball coach, was accepting Arthur Ashe Courage Award presented by ESPN he said

BE GRATEFUL

Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my soul and it cannot touch my heart. And those three things are going to carry on forever.

Many of us have people in our closest circle who are in serious physical or mental condition. Tell them how much you love them and what they really mean to you. Every moment is precious. We cannot get back or reverse time and that is the thing we regret the most. Time is our most precious resource.  

 

Grandma

I want to share with you a very personal story from my life. When I came back home from Denmark after working there for six weeks I was very happy and emotional to see my kids. On the next morning I went to visit my very sick Grandma. When I’ve dialed code on the intercom keyboard and I heard my mom’s voice.  She just said ‘Open’ but this was more than enough. I knew. I took the stairs to the third floor. Somehow subconsciously I didn’t want to take the elevator. This was an extremely long walk. I really hoped I will never get there. But I did. I had some hope left in me but it was crashed when my mom let me inside almost without a word. Priest was giving my loved Grandma last rites. Sadness and grief took over my body and soul. My Grandma was gone.

 

Iron Lady

Remorse came instantly. ‘I didn’t arrive on time to say goodbye. I should have visited her more often’. A day before I left to go to Denmark I met with Grandma. Her state was very serious. She had very serious type of cancer with metastasis. But for those 30 minutes we have spent together she was very communicative and happy to see me, as I was to see her. We were talking about my kids and Grandma’s early days. All her life she was a very strong person. Experiencing Second World War and working in German work camps in her early teenage years. As a young girl she lost her baby brother. All that made her into remarkable and mentally unbreakably human being.

 

No complain

Very rarely you could hear her complain, neither about her health nor anything else. She went through life as an independent, resolute and proud woman. But sickness makes all of us very dependent. Unfortunately, Grandma was suffering more and more but no one could do anything about it. My mom and my aunt were taking care of her and keeping her company till the end.  She passed away in the presence of her loving daughters in peace of her own home and bed. Being as safe and comfortable as possible. It is very hard for me to write all this but it is my own way to say goodbye to Grandma. ‘I will love you forever. We will meet someday again. Goodbye Grandma’.

 

Laugh. Smile. Cry

Now I urge you to visit or call your loved ones who are fighting with sickness. They need your help. Do it as soon as you can. Do not wait. Time is very precious, and we don’t know how much we have left.  Tell them how much you love them. Don’t keep your love inside. Share it.    

 

Live your life with passion. Laugh. Smile. Cry. Be enthusiastic every day.

Be grateful.

 

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CREATURES OF PATTERNS

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 4 minute read
creatures of patterns
creatures of patterns

Don’t trust words. Question actions. But never doubt patterns - Unknown

Human beings are creatures of patterns. We move in certain way, certain fashion, in certain direction. We tend to follow the same paths. We have our eating patterns. We interact and respond in a certain way. We do certain thing at a certain time. We are creatures of patterns. We should be using that fact to our advantage when we build our habits.

 

Movement pattern

When I was working for a tax consulting company I was going to the gym 4 times a week after work. I know it’s hard to believe since no one seen my upper body muscles for quite some time. I was going to the gym 4 out of 5 times on my way back home.  That was my pattern of moving. From home, to work, to gym, to home. There was no space to say I don’t feel like going today. I don’t have time or I need to rest. No. Once I took my gym bag there was no other option for me than go for a workout. Right after I came back home from the gym I was making sure to prepare my gym bag for next day. I was placing the bag in front of the doors to make it visible. It was all automatic. There was no pain or doubt in deciding if I want to work out. I was always in the mood to work out.

After changing my job, the pattern of my movement changed. My paths changed. My schedule changed. In the result the habits that were connected with this job, those trigger that I have squeezed into my path, my movement, my schedule, have fallen apart.

 

Some things stay the same

At that time, I was not aware of those triggers or actually any triggers at all. I was only focusing on the desired action of working out. Because of this lack of awareness and not focusing my attention in the right direction, it took me few months to get back to working out during the work week. This may come to you as a surprise but I was still working out on the weekends as I did before. By now you probably figured out that it is because my weekend patterns have not changed. Same movement, same path, same habits, same triggers. That is quite a good example how you can use patterns in your advantage when you actually want to set new triggers.

 

Deep seated belief

Now let me show you a different example from my life as well. This is an example of bad habit and limiting belief. Unfortunately, it this example the triggers were also working great. When I was coming back home from work in the bank I was always extremely stressed and anxious. I felt I needed and deserved a rest, that’s fair right? I was convinced that watching a movie, after my wife will put my son to bed will de-stress me and relief me from my problems. Almost every day I was watching a movie or TV series in the evening. I had deep seated certainty that this helps me to chill out. Forgetting about your problems doesn’t make them vanish.

 

Dark side of triggers

I had a trigger that was launching my habit when my son was falling asleep. That was my pattern, my frame. Until my trigger was pulled I was not allowing myself to rest, de-stress and feel the joy of being with my family. Unfortunately, I was not aware of that. That was the dark side of my de-stress habit. You can guess how this have affected my family and myself. Actually until my son went to bed I was still mentally at this work I have hated so much. That sounds really serious and believe me it was. Your habits and your triggers are highly responsible for how you behave and who you actually are.  

 

Your default settings

Take some time to figure out what are your paths. When you enter them and when you leave them. Start paying attention to all the same thing you do at the same time every day. Once you do that you can aim at triggers it themselves. Setting up more trigger moments will change your life completely. Triggers look like this: When you see something you do this, when this action is taken, then that happens. Interrupt your patterns and stick to your habits, stick to your Journey. Once you become mindful and purposeful with your behaviors, you will witness a massive change in your life. What is the first habit and trigger you are going to change?

 

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HACK YOUR TRIGGERS

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OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Hacker believe that something can always be better, and that nothing is ever complete – Mark Zuckerberg

What actually happens when your trigger is activated? That’s quite simple. Your mind and body is reminded of your habit.

Ok but how do you trigger your habits? What trigger moments you can set up during the day to keep you on track? How often your trigger should appear? Let’s hack your triggers.

 

What’s missing?

It is essential to have the right strategy, engaging system, reliable triggers, bulletproof habits, outstanding motivation, however it is still not enough. We might have all those things listed above but we still won’t behave the way we want. You probably wonder What are you missing?

 

Applicability

Applicability? What do I mean by that? It is the capacity to take that action without considerable obstruction. Sit on this idea for a moment. What kind of actions do you execute more often in your day to day life? The ones that are complicated and demanding or the ones that are easy and quick? The answer is obvious. There is no doubt about the fact that easy actions are the overwhelming majority of our behaviors. Usually the action we were taking before was way too complicated. In most case­s with the first serious obstacle we just quit. It is automatic. It is not easy.  The level of ease or difficulty of executing a certain action will affect the possibility of following through. The easier and simpler your designed action will be; the bigger chances you give yourself to succeed.

 

Hack your design

Having that in mind we need to look on the action you want to take. 

Let’s hack your design. Break it to pieces. Write down all the necessary steps to take this desired action. Think about it carefully. Write it one by one. Take your time. You need to write right now. Stop reading!

What’s number one? Two? Three? Four? What’s left?

Do you have everything mapped in place? Go through it again. Haven’t you miss anything?

Ok. Which step is not necessary? Choose one. Cross it from the sequence of your behavior. Great. Now we simply need to start removing step until you end up with the shortest possible sequence.

 

Remove

If you think it’s easier said than done, allow me to show you how you can do it. From all the steps you have listed select three that are most important in your mind. Now take off the one that is not essential for taking that action. Than take off another one. Is there a step in your sequence that can be done a day or few days before or after? Cross it from your list and make sure to make a habit out of doing it before the action. If there are any obstacles standing in the way of your ability to take action, remove them. If you want to go running in the morning before going work you can for example prepare you outfit, your shoes, set up your alarm clock and on and on. This will cut the steps from your morning sequence and it will make it much easier and more applicable. It’s up to you to help yourself to act. Not me or anyone else is going to help you. You are on your own buddy.   

 

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