TINY HABIT. BIG CHANGE.

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 100 days - strategy, 4 minute read

Meaningful blink of an eye

Let’s start with a tiny question. Do you think 100 days is a long time? Well, it’s only a matter of perspective, right? If you are a child waiting for Christmas or your birthday, 100 days will feel like eternity. If you’ll find yourself only waiting for something that you have no control over you won’t be either present in the moment nor grateful for the ride. In this case it can turn out to be a total waste of time. On the other hand, having a clear plan, taking actions and appreciating your journey will help you be lot more grateful, present in moment and fulfilled with your progress. Once you’ll choose this path 100 days will be a very meaningful and magnificent blink of an eye.

 

The Ride

Going back to my first article on 100 day of Change in January this was not designed to be a challenge. It was something far more important than that. Challenge prompts assumptions that it is a onetime thing, one-night stand. It would suggest that I’m only after a specific outcome or result. Well, journey itself, the ride and the struggle was far more important. It’s not about what I’m going to accomplish, it’s about who I’m going to become on the way. Who we are right now and who will become in the future is a result of the tiny things we do every day. It’s not luck. It’s not given or taken. It’s YOU!

 

Little things

Those little tiny things became inseparable parts of my day and my life. Like my morning routines. Smiling in front of the mirror, thinking about 3 things I’m grateful for, doing pushups, visualizing my goals for the  day and for the next 10 years. This exercise give me sense of control over my life, a chance to think about my vision and mission but what’s most important it makes me appreciate my life and people who are in it.

 

Late (cold) addition

Well, there is one more morning routine I do every day for the last 3 weeks. Cold showers. Besides the clear physical benefits like instant wake up, releasing tension in the muscles, increasing immune system and increasing tolerance for temperature differences, it gives me something even more important. It’s a mental exercise. It’s an exercise of going way beyond your comfort zone every morning of every day. To make one thing clear the water does not get any hotter with time. It’s still freezing every morning.

 

(Too) Cozy

Once I take that cold shower in the morning I’m not only fresh and awake, I’m also ready to face whatever comes my way. Every day I’m getting better in going outside of my comfort zone, my warm and cozy coverlet. It stretches the reach of my zone every day. 

 

Dose of inspiration

In the last 100 days reading became another inseparable  part of my day. Either self-development, marketing, financial or business books give me a daily dose of inspiration and knowledge. It’s my most quiet and peaceful time in a day. After my day job and spending time with my wonderful family it serves as a reset time before going to my evening hustle and grind. We all need to relax during the day and reading turns out to be way faster, more effective and useful for me than watching movies.

 

Lesson

Besides developing smaller and bigger habits I have also learned many very meaningful lessons. Failures are integral part of going beyond and stretching your boundaries. I was not even thinking about avoiding failures because it would mean not trying at all. I was failing a lot and  then adjusting. It’s not something to be ashamed or pity about. Failures need to be parts of my success. 

 

Too much

For starters, my daily, weekly and monthly plan was total overpacked. Trying to do too many things and once is one of the biggest challenges I face very often. This time was no different but after a month I have adjusted my day to day plans not to drain myself. It’s great to be going in a full pace but you’ll never be able to sprint yourself through a marathon. Based on their results now and potential for the future I have cut off the half of my tiny daily activities from the list.

 

Am I really so different after 100 Days of Change?

I totally believe I am. Through tiny habits and adjustments done every I have made major changes in my life. I have control over my day, I’m a lot more grateful for what I have, I a lot happier and more fulfilled. On top of that I have never been so determined to go after my dreams, so peaceful with the world and in life with my life.

This wonderful experience is a genesis of an incredible journey. Don’t hesitate. Design and start your journey NOW!

 

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big change

FALL IN LOVE WITH SMALL

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 100 days - strategy, 3 minute read
FALL IN LOVE WITH SMALL

Great things are done by a series of small things brought together -Vincent Van Gogh

Today

You went to bed last night and you had all those ideas about how you’re going to get up this morning and things are going to be different. Today you’re going to start. Start taking steps towards doing some of those projects that you know that will get you closer to living that dream life you keep playing over and over in your head.  

 

Cubical world

Different from practical life that you’ve got to get up and meet every day. To go to the cubical infested world to work a job just to pay the bills. Out gas in the gas tank to take you places where you don’t really want to go to be around people you don’t enjoy being around. Put groceries in a refrigerator groceries that keep you fat and lazy. Keep you way from being healthy and fit in your life.

 

Silly, Superficial, Stupid

What wakes you up?  What drives you? Why are you playing this game? Pay the mortgage on a house that doesn’t inspire you and you hate coming home. Do you know what makes it even worse? Is that you cower. Before you got from the bedroom to the kitchen resistance was there already. Telling you what you were going to do different than what you want to do and what your inner voice inside of you tells you need to do with your life. Telling you that those things you believe matter and have a purpose in your life really don’t. That these silly, superficial and stupid things matter.

 

Resistance

Resistance will be there every morning. Morning, noon, night, and while you were sleeping. It will do everything to stop you from doing anything. It will kick you in the face until you turn around and start throwing punches. It will not go away on your own. If won’t fight it will be wining every round for the rest of your life.

 

Each

Try to look and each second to make sure you’re doing something each second. Make sure each minute you’re doing something. Each hour. Each day you’re doing something. You are effective on Monday, on Tuesday, on Wednesday, on Thursday, on Friday. You don’t have to be perfect but what you have to do is perfect your day. As long as you are alive you will never be perfect. There is always progress to be made. You can always get better but you need to practice. Perfect your 24 hours. Your 60 minutes. Your 1440 seconds. That’s what you need to concentrate on right NOW.

 

Fall in love with small

Do what you are supposed to do with each second, with each minute, with each hour, each day. Fall in love with small things and big ones will be attracted to you eventually.

You master the NOW. You become an expert of the NOW. Get out there and to do work of your life.

 

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FALL IN LOVE WITH SMALL

DOTS

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 6 minute read
DOTS

You can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path – Steve Jobs

Where is, it going?

I have heard this quote from Steve jobs, so many times but it took me months to think it thru and discover the true meaning for me. For me it means that our every action or inaction is a simple dot our life map. Even with our vision in hand we cannot be hundred percent sure were exactly our life is going to go. Each and everything we do has the meaning down the road.

 

Hack your life

If you are still reading this, it means you are serious about the dots you put on your map. What can you do to turn your actions into meaningful dots? Let’s take the first step on your Journey. You need to hack your life. Break your daily actions into pieces and put it all together again. This bone is badly fused and the only way to fix it is to break it and piece it back together.  

 

Three steps

You can do it by taking three simple steps:

1. Timeline.

Your first step is to take a big piece of paper or open a new document. Draw a horizontal line. Think of this as a timeline of your actions.

 

2. Every action is a dot.

Next step is to think of your vision and the thing you want to accomplish. Put a dot on your time line for every action you take that might be anyhow connected to your envisioned outcome. Start from thinking about your day.  Take today or yesterday (do not go back any further for now) and put a single dot on the page for every action/inaction you took. Anything that can be even slightly connected. Both bigger a and smaller actions. Be honest with yourself.  If your goal is to eat healthy or lose 10 kg put a dot for every single thing you put in your mouth. What specifically have you eaten? Did you go to gym? Did you go for a jog or did you watched a movie on your sofa? What physical activities have you taken? What did you drink during the day? Put a dot for every drink.

Do you start to see a pattern in your actions? Do you take the same self-sabotaging actions at the same time each day? While putting dots on your map think how every single one if affecting your life.

Now go further in time to tomorrow. That is a quick journey in time but it’s worth it. Mark dots in the same way. What actions are you going to take tomorrow? What exactly are you going to do? What are you going to change? What little adjustments are you going to make? Going back to our example what are you going to eat and drink? How will you conduct yourself? Close your eyes and do the same thing for the next day. And the next one.

 

3. Try to see the future

Look at your map and think about how your dots could possibly connect in the future? Are your actions in line with your goals and your dreams? Every possibly insignificant action you undertake could matter a great deal. You have to be sure that you’re doing every possible thing to achieve your goal. Take all the chances you can, do not leave anything to good fortune or luck.    

 

I’m not a morning person

How do you feel when you wake up in the Monday morning? You probably never though that the hour when you wake up in the morning has something to do with your reasons, with your vision, with your Why. It has everything to do with it. So, you hate waking up because you don’t know the reason. You are waking up and you don’t have a design in mind. You just say I’m not a morning person. You are not a morning person because you are not living within your vision. Once you live in your purpose, when you discover your gift, you can’t wait to wake up. You have to remember Why you do it? If you won’t love it, you want survive because it is hard work.

 

Practical or irrational

Steve Jobs once said: ‘…You have to have a lot of passion for what you’re doing and the reason is because it is so hard that when you don’t any rational person would give up’. Success had nothing to do with being practical and rational. Actually, almost always it is the other way around. Your dream, your vision, your Journey has to be irrational and foolish (Journey of a fool). Don’t let anything and anyone to tame your fire.

 

Inner fire

What burns in your heart is important for you to pay attention to because it never goes away. Pay very close attention to the thing that make you happy. Look at that burning fire inside of you. Do not ignore it. The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great and the only way to do great thing is to love what you do.

 

Why?

We need to go back to the core question of Why? But first you need to change the state you are in. Give it a go. In order to make it happen you need to be sure this is what you want to do. I don’t want to force you to anything. If this is something you want to do, do it. Just do it.

 

When?

When it is a good time to start? What do you think about NOW? There never was a better time. There never will be a better time. Take this vision, take this Journey. Don’t let it expire. Don’t let it die. Take this vision give it a new lease of life. Take this Journey and vitalize it. Take it and ignite the fire inside of you until finally it becomes a flame that burns around your whole world. You are on your way to change your dreams into reality. Most of people already know it on some level but we still don’t take any action. You don’t do anything about it. Knowledge is power only when you use it by taking actions.

 

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DOTS

EGO

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 4 minute read
ego

Within each of us, there is a silence, a silence as vast as the universe. And when we experience that silence, we remember who we are – Gunilla Norris

Separation

Very often we are so focused on ourselves that start to think we are separate from the rest of the world. But there is no separation. There is no separation between you and your family. There is no separation between you and your company. There is no separation between you and your work. There is no separation between your happiness and your family’s happiness. There is no separation between your suffering and suffering of others. Ego tries to convince us differently but there is no separation.

 

String of connections

What would the world look like if every single one of us felt complete, felt peaceful and felt inner connected? When we let go of seeing only ourselves all of our priorities change because we can actually see the entire world as a string of life connections. Maybe the one thing that keeps us from truly living is that deeply seeded thought that we are separate from the world. Maybe it’s time we change our minds?     

 

Are we separate?

Most of us are pretty convinced that we are not separate from the world. But why don’t we notice it? Why don’t we see it? I think it’s because we are so focused on ourselves and so distracted by our individual experiences. We actually might not be what we think we are.

What if we are an already complete image? What if we already have what we are looking for? What we already have happiness?  What if everything we do to each other we do to ourselves? What if everything we see in each other is ourselves?

 

Energy

What if we are strings of connections? What if all of us are energy? It has been scientifically proven that human body is a very complex pattern of energy. But why don’t we feel it?

 

Ocean

What is the ocean? The simplest possible answers is that ocean is water. Ocean is water in motion. Sometimes when we look at the ocean we just see waves. We can call a certain part of the ocean a wave but it gives us the illusion that the wave is separate entity in the ocean. But the wave is not in the ocean, wave is the ocean.  And similarly we might not be the waves. Maybe we’re the ocean. Maybe all of us are energy and we can realize that directly.

 

What is EGO?

Ego tries to convince us that we need to get something, that we need to chase something. Ego is that voice in your head that says you’re not as good as that other person, maybe you need to do something else to make yourself better, to add to yourself. Ego is constantly trying to keep me from being me and you from being you. Ego is fighting us from loving this live and from loving it now. Once we realize that we’re complete than this live and everything in it becomes a play of form. It becomes a game. It becomes happiness. And then comes a time when we can make something good out of. There is nothing to be worry about. It’s to have fun.

 

Change

We can all put our ego and pride aside. We can remove all barriers, all fears and expectations. We can all be drivers of positivity. We can all be a person of change and then we will not just be a waves of change. We will be an ocean of change. If you want to change, let’s say your organization, what can you accomplish as a separate entity, a separate wave? Not much. And imagine what could the whole ocean accomplish. How greater and deeper the changes could be?

 

New way

The only moment that matter for us is right NOW. We must begin by seeing ourselves in a world in a new way for the first time. We must see us in our families in a new way. We must see us in our organizations, our cities, our countries, our plant in a new way. Let’s try to think less of ourselves. Let’s invest less in the story we tell about our own specialness and let’s liberate ourselves to accomplish the world changing work we set out to achieve.  

 

Everyone is looking for good and everyone is good. There’s nothing you need for yourself.

 

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ego

WHEN TO START?

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
WHEN TO START?

Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Lao Tzu

When to start? When it is a good time to start? What do you think about NOW? Why not NOW? There never was a better time. There never will be a better time. Take this vision, take this Journey. Don’t let it expire. Don’t let it die. Take this vision give it a new lease of life. Take it and ignite the fire inside of you until finally it becomes a flame that burns around your whole world. Jump on this Journey and change your dreams into your reality. Most of people already know it on some level but they still don’t take any action. They don’t do anything about it. Knowledge is power only when you put it into action. Otherwise it’s totally redundant.

 

Make discipline your superpower

Once you learn about the power of habits, it’s going to change your life. Your habits are the reflection of your discipline or lack of it (see Habits are your wings). Discipline is one of the most important things that we can develop in our life. It’s a major factor to self-reliance and willfulness get things done on a continual basis. Without those skills you’ll never get that great amount of momentum and progress towards what you really want.  

And I bet there are a lot of areas of your life that could benefit from being more discipline. What’s the first one coming to your mind?  It can be doing your creative work, working out more often or eating healthier food. Whatever you may think of. Make discipline your superpower. Make discipline a major force in your life because without it you will not be able to grow consistently. Discipline is inseparable and core component of your Journey.

 

Change your story

Furthermore, it is a continuing and unstoppable journey itself. If you truly want to get on this boat, once and for all you need to leave that island of I don’t feel like it today. You can really change your story and you change it now. Anyone can start the Journey. Anyone. It is not the question of Could you do it? It is the question of Would you do it? And Would you do it NOW?

Start your Journey NOW. No matter how small or big is the new habit you want to develop, trust me you can begin NOW. It’s not the size that’s the problem. The real snag is whether or not you will ever start your Journey and whether or not you will go on to continue no matter the odds. 

 

Today. Right away. NOW.

We all know that creating new disciplines and habits, as well as improving the ones that already exist, are the things that gets us going towards our vision. So why don’t we follow on that knowledge? Why do we keep on walking in the opposite direction of our dreams? Remember that it’s not about greatness when you start, it’s about starting to get to greatness.   You don’t have to be fit to start working out. You don’t have to be wealthy to start a wealth plan. Anyone can start the Journey. You can live the healthy, happy and wealthy life right NOW. It can begin today. Start your Journey NOW. If you think of a new idea, today is a day to begin the discipline of putting that idea into action. Arrange all those habits that you need. Set up your day as a long, exciting and busy start for your new life. Leave your despair, your fears, your guilt of the past and start going forward. Start Today. Start right away. Start NOW.

 

Show up every day

Start small. It’s never about how big you start. You don’t want to get overwhelmed on the first day or in the first week. What’s more important is not to quit when you don’t see results at the beginning. Don’t let yourself get disappointed because you were too focused on the outcome, instead of the learning process. Every step you take along the way, every failed experiment, will add up and get you closer to your destination. Show up every day, be there, get to work, get it done. 

 

Turn towards your dream

We all want to be successful in certain areas of life. At least one of them. You might not admit it, you might not be aware of that, but that’s how it is. Success is an imprint of your disciplines and your habits. It might be invisible and obscure image for now. But you have to be patient and persistent because the effect might come a little later. Be patient and it will come.  Every cloud has a silver lining. Discipline means turning away from something comfortable towards something totally different. From not exercising to exercising. From drinking soda to drinking water. From not saving to saving. From being miserable at work, to loving it.

 

Your opportunity is here right now

Being successful means to me to be able to respond and actually anticipate the invitation of an upcoming opportunity. There is always an opportunity to grow, to develop, to become and to progress. But the biggest, the most fulfilling of all successes is making your life what you want it to be. Now the big question is What do you really want from life? What do you really want?

 

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WHEN TO START?

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO STOP SAYING

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 7 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny - 
Frank Outlaw

Expectations 

Let’s get one thing straight from the beginning: I believe in actions. You can say whatever you want but if you don’t follow on your words they become worthless. Your true expectations don’t show up in the 10 things you need to stop saying but in your behavior and in your actions.  You can fool everybody but yourself. Your behavior when nobody’s watching reveal everything.

Repetition makes reality

However, words have the power to change your reality. Once you follow your words with actions this combination will create your reality. Even if you don’t believe in your words after saying them couple times you will subconsciously follow what you have been saying. 

I suck at math

When I was in primary school I have decided I’m not good at math. And that was enough for me not to try to learn and understand it. Did I spend hours trying to change it? NO. Did I seek help? Not really. I told myself I suck at this and my words became my reality. Even after going to high school this belief didn’t change a bit.

Later in my life I found myself working in a tax consulting company for almost a year, then working in a bank close to 4 years and lately in accounting department. Funny but number are all over my career. Is that a coincidence? No that is what you call: karma. You are literally attracting your weakness if you don’t work on them consciously. You might think in modern day in all those positions I held and all those departments I’ve worked in I don’t need much of mathematical skills. You’ve got computers, excel or just calculator, right? Well, yes but there always going to be a part where you need to use your mathematical part of your brain. Make some calculations or use your logical thinking. Your weakness are your opportunities to grind and work. You will not find anything better to learn from than your weakness and failures.   

Successful mindset

Some people succeed, some people don’t. It all comes down to how do we manage our mind and how do we manage our days. One of the most important things that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful is the way they think about approaching something new. Unsuccessful people are terrified of unexpected problems. Unlike successful people who anticipate them and know they will come eventually. Those people turn problems into tasks, goals and opportunities.  When unsuccessful people have a big dream, they start to think what’s going to be required to accomplish that dream. They get very limiting in their believes about themselves and what’s possible.

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO STOP SAYING

If you will pay attention to what unsuccessful people say, many times you will the same things. There is a bullet proof list of 10 things you need to stop saying. Those statements are:

1. I don’t know how to do it.

This immediately shoot down your solution finding inner GPS. If you really want to do this thing you need to just throw this statement out the window. Successful people learn whatever is necessary to succeed in their endeavor. Not knowing is not an answer. Not knowing is not solution. Not knowing is not the end, it’s beginning of your Journey to knowing.

Doing the things, you are not knowing is the lightest signal of making progress.

2. I don’t have things.

What exactly don’t you have? How and by when can you get it? This is a general problem of success perception disorder. We like to look at those most successful people and compare our capabilities with theirs. None of those people started with what they have now. Most of them started from screech. Let’s focus on the tools you have now and those you can develop. My pervious post Magic Formula concentrates on this notion of our temptation to take shortcuts.

3. I’m not like those people. I’m not like that.

Do you want to say you are lazy and that’s going to stop you? Why do you expect to have skill or traits of people who committed their whole life to this journey towards greatness? They haven’t become who they are overnight

4. I can’t do that.

Why? What’s standing in the way? Solve it as quickly as you can. But the real question here is not Why? But the proper question is Do you want to do it at all? If you don’t want to do it say you

5. I don’t care.

That’s just pure ignorance and pleading ignorance doesn’t make the problem go away. It’s one of the best ways to crush your relationship with other people. It doesn’t’ add anything to the conversation and what’s even worse no one wants to hear those kind of statements.

6. That’s too early or That’s too late.

Part of being successful is being at the right place at the right time. If this is so important the time does not matter. Lack of time is never a problem. It’s all about your focus and your priorities.

7. I’m too busy.

If opportunity arise do whatever it takes to exploit it. Do the things that are really going to make a big difference in your life. Again the size of your success depends mostly on your focus and priorities.

8. It’s OK and YES.

Many people say this over and over again. Over and over again. Don’t settle for average. Know when it’s time to walk away and stop taking excuses from others. It’s not OK all the time.

9. I don’t feel like doing this.

If you are sure you really need to do it your feelings or wants doesn’t matter a bit. Who cares? Saying that will only make it worse and a lot more painful. Stop it. Treat it simply a task and cut of all those undermining emotions. Stop complaining. It’s simple: do it or don’t.

10. Complaining.

It is a virial misery. It won’t make the problem go away. It will only make it more painful. If you can change just do it. If you can’t just leave it as it is and change your focus.

 

Successful people have a different way. They often have the same dreams, the same visions. The difference is that they don’t stop. Unsuccessful people keep on stopping. Successful people say I want to do it but I don’t know how, so my job is to learn how. They take their current limitation and they put it on their schedule as a thing to figure out. Become that.

Words have the power to change your reality. Once you follow your words with actions this combination will create your reality.

Watch your words!

MAGIC FORMULA

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 4 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

You don’t run 26 miles at five minutes a mile on good looks and secret recipe – Frank Shorter

Do you believe in magic in a real life? Do you believe in wizards and fairies? How about magic wand? Do you really think it only takes one great shot to hit all those different targets? No? So why do you like to look for those magic elements that let others to succeed? Like e.g. 5 things that will make you successful or How to get rich fast and on and on. Some of you think there’s got to be some secret in it. There’s got to be something, right?  That’s very convenient on your side. Most of the people say: Those people know something that I don’t know. They have something I don’t have. I would be able to do it. or They’ve just got lucky. Well, I will disappoint you, there is no magic, no secret in it and very limited amount of luck.

HOW ABOUT A SHORTCUT?

Seriously? Are you for real? There are no shortcuts. People think there is some sort of quick move, some sort of algorithm or magic formula that will get you there. How about a teleport to success or a magic spell? Again NO.  It doesn’t exist. I’m here to tell you that this is one of the most misunderstood concepts. It doesn’t happen like that. If you think that’s how anything can be done you just waste your energy. You waste your time. You waste your life.

You will not get in shape by taking a shortcut. You will not get healthy by taking a shortcut. You will not get a promotion by taking a shortcut. Your great idea will not magically evolve into a business. It will not. Accept it and go to work.

NOTHING IS FREE
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard – Kevin Durant, NBA 2014 Most Valuable Player

Nothing happens overnight. When you see greatness in someone you often think that is a pure talent or a great gift. You don’t see and or think about massive amount of hard work behind it. Nothing is free. Why don’t you believe it? Why are you still waiting?

EASIEST PATH
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Genius is 1 percent talent and 99 percent hard work - Albert Einstein

I found it to be true in every aspect of my life. You heard it so many time and you still don’t believe it, do you? Why? Because it’s the easiest thing to do and let’s face it most of us are just lazy. Sorry to say that but that the cold, hard truth. That’s how we are developed by centuries of evolution. We take the easiest path. What’s even worse, we take a break on the side of that path and sit there for a few years.  Some of us sits there for the rest of our life and wait to be rescued. We want to be given a chance but we don’t do anything to create it for ourselves.

Only you can give you a chance. Only you can rescue you. Only YOU!

EXPECTATIONS

If you ask anyone Do you want to be successful?  Do you want to live a life of contribution? Do you want to accomplish your vison, achieve you goal, fulfil your dreams? Do you want to be better father? Do you want to be healthier? Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be happy? Everybody will say YES! The true expectations don’t show up in your word but in your behavior and in your actions. I can tell what do you expect by what you do. Your behavior when nobody’s watching. It takes tons and tons of work. There will be a million reasons why not but there’s one great reason WHY. This your vision, your dream. Preserver and stay focused.

It’s not free. There is no magic to it. No magic formula. No shortcuts.

The only secret is HARD WORK!

GAME OF RULES

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games – Evan Esar

CANDIDATE

From the start of our life we are told to grow up. Man up. Straighten up. Behave. We are told what to do. Consciously or unconsciously our parents want us to blend in, be like everybody else. We’re supposed to be nice and have good grades.

Our ‘highly developed’ society has the most bizarre preconceived demeanor towards new members of our tribe. Instead of saying Hi and welcome to the world we are dragging them into a game. The game is all about playing by the rules. It’s our game and our rules. Only we, as adults are allowed to make those rules.

PROBATION
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Every sentence is the result of a long probation – Henry David Thoreau

We say to the baby: We want to tell what the rules are, so you could find your way around our world but remember to play by the rules. When you get older you may be able to invent better rules.     

Unwittingly we put our child on probation. He didn’t deserve to be a member of society yet. He’s not really a human. It’s like he is just a contender to become a human being. This is a trial with numerous judges giving all those grades, marks and making assumption about the future of the baby.

THE SYSTEM
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system – Bruce Lee

This notion is supported by the whole system of preparation for life. System of preparation children for the game but never letting them play. We prepare them to sit on the bench until they fully grow up.

We start from putting our child to nursery as a preparation for kindergarten. Kindergarten is just preparation for the first grade. Then you go up and prepare for junior high and the high school.

The next level is college. If you’re fascinated by this system, or if you were told by your parents, or if you’re totally lost and you don’t have the tiniest clue what you want your life to be about, you go to college or university. If you go there expecting to be enlighten, in many cases end up being even more rigged into the system.

THE GAME
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

If people understood how the economic system works, there’d be a revolution in a minute – Henry Ford

After graduation we want our children to go out into the World. What actually means go find a job and live like everybody else. We get enormously upset if after all those years of preparation our children are still not able to blend in, be mediocre, be vanilla.

They’ve been training for this their whole life. But never had a chance to test their abilities because they were not allowed to play this game. They were told Not yet. Wait few more years. When you get older you’ll understand.

Once they start their first job this story starts from the beginning. They find themselves on probation again. Just watch, learn but play by the rules. Maybe after another 25 years, just maybe, you will climb the corporate ladder and you will be able to make a few new rules on your own. Doesn’t this sound great? Unfortunately, once you reach your destination, your peak, it doesn’t feel much better. It’s not what you’ve dreamed of. It’s not what you’ve expected. It’s all more less the same. Life is the same. Nothing major changed. You’re not happier. You don’t have more freedom. You still have to play by the rules.

THE TRUTH
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Making plans for the future is of use to people who are capable of living completely in the present – Alan Watts

The final preparation in the system is the preparation for retirement. You are told that you will be respected senior member of the tribe. You will have the wealth and all the time you need to be happy. You will be allowed to do what you always wanted to. You will be allowed to ignore some rules.

It’s all well and good but at the same time you will have artificial hip, false teeth, a lot less hair, if any, a lot more irritating diseases, a memory problems and a massive dipper on your butt. Good luck with doing all the things you dreamed off then.

The truth is this system is a skim from the start all the way to the end. You are a sad little pawn being moved in the biggest, most outlandish and ludicrous game of all.  

Now don’t get me wrong, I play this game myself just like every other human on earth. What I want you to think about is the notion of playing by your own rules. Break some rules. Go your own path. Be yourself.

Do you really want to play by the rules?

(Not) so SMART

Posted Leave a commentPosted in 5 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will get you everywhere – Albert Einstein

ARE YOU SMART?

Do you like to feel smart? How about your goals, do you like them to be smart?

SMART goals are a highly contagious mantra. It spreads very quickly throughout your body and mind. What’s more worrying is that it is a deadly disease. It’s deadly to your ambition, it’s deadly to your creativity, it’s deadly to your Vision.

We are constantly told that our goals need to be simple and achievable. As dehumanized corporation machine teaches us, our goal needs to be SMART – simple, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-based. As far as your personal life that’s a complete bullshit. Especially that idea of only aiming to what’s achievable now.

Your capabilities can change from in the matter of day. Sometimes you just need to go around the corner. Sometimes you just need another breakthrough. What was impossible and unimaginable yesterday, is within your reach today.  

You don’t have to live your life in cubicle of corporation mindset. It is so scary how our lives and our culture got fixed around SMART goals. Everything has got to be specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, time bound. Very powerful left brain thinking way. We are dominated by realism. Realistic goals, spread sheets, check lists, white boards all those things help us accomplish small tasks and tiny goals but nothing more. This path won’t take you to your dreams or your vision.

YOUR REALISM KILLS YOUR OPTIMISM?

You don’t have to live your life in cubicle of corporation mindset. It is so scary how our lives and our culture got fixed around SMART goals. Everything has got to be specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, time bound. Very powerful left brain thinking way. We are dominated by realism. Realistic goals, spread sheets, check lists, white boards all those things help us accomplish small tasks and tiny goals but nothing more. This path won’t take you to your dreams or your vision.

OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do – Walter Begehot

There is a down side to all that pragmatic and realistic thinking. Our goals and visions became so tiny, that often times there’s nothing compelling and inspiring about them. We are constantly conditioned to play by the rules and go along with everything that works already. I refuse to play by book and you should too.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU PLAY AGAINST ALL ODDS?

When was the last time you have shoot for the moon? Have you ever? Smart goals have nothing to do with your dreams. You are constantly limiting and restricting yourself by not dreaming big. Your chaining yourself to your present situation, present set of skills and knowledge, present life. If your goal is just a checklist you are not going to go for your dream. It has to be something that is compelling and important to you.

The biggest achievements in human history, most successful companies, biggest endeavors didn’t start with smart goals. There was nothing attainable or realistic about them. Those ideas were turning the world over. Was the dream of flying attainable when Wright brothers started going for it? Was it smart to think we are going to land on the moon? Those were impossible dreams.  You’re small thinking doesn’t benefit anyone.

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

If we can’t handle the worst, then we don’t deserve the best – Anonymous

How far you can fall? Clearly define the worst thing and you will realize that the reality isn’t really that bad. Define the worst outcome and you’ll soon start to see how ridiculous most of your worries are. Get busy with what you love and your brain won’t have time to worry.

In every process you have to bring the goal down and measure it but don’t start from that. The time for being realistic, analytical and pragmatic will come later. Don’t be scared to think at the level that is ambitious, courageous, bold. Go to that place of uncertainty first and then you will find yourself where you really want to be. Sometimes you have to be nuts! Start with the dream and how to do it will come later.

I HAVE NO TIME

Posted 3 CommentsPosted in 3 minute read
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst – William Penn

ULTIMATE LIE

The biggest excuse in human history is: I have no time. You’re constantly telling yourself you have no time. Be honest and think do you fall for that as well? I know I did. Actually I didn’t even fall for that because I was living in that rabbit hole. I have no time is the biggest lie you will ever hear. What’s even more sad and disappointing it comes out of you as well. We all have the same 24 hours, 1 440 minutes and 86 400 seconds in a day.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS HOW WE USE OUR TIME

When you say you don’t have time, it actually means that something else was more important to you. Do you even realize what that was? You can fool me but you won’t fool yourself.

If you ever catch yourself on thinking I have no time to do it stop immediately. Do you really want or need to do it? If the answer is NO, just say This is not something I want or need to do. If it’s YES, then decide when you’re going to do it.

DECIDE ON YOUR PRIORITIES

Clean it up. Change your to-do list into a map of your priorities. Put it in the center scope of your focus. First, take the big items, the rocks of your life, the things that will give you most significant outcomes and schedule them. Then commit to some block time for those actions that matters to you. Commit to the most important things and then schedule those other items.

Block times can move. Scheduled times can’t. With scheduled times you have made a commitment to another person and you can’t move it by yourself. That’s why it’s so crucial to do all the things that are important to you first.

WAKEY! WAKEY!

HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU WASTE?
OVERCOMING FEAR OF FAILURE. PART 1

Lost time is never found again -  Benjamin Franklin

Out of our lack of focus, lack of responsibility, lack direction and our detachment we literally waste our life. How much time do you really waste? How much time a day? On average we are distracted for about 4-5 hours every day just by watching TV and browsing internet. And you have the guts to say I don’t have time for this or that. This just isn’t true. Of course you have time but you prefer to be lazy. That is cold heart truth but someone had to tell you that.

THAT 4 HOURS A DAY IS CLOSE TO 13 YEARS DURING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE

13 years. Wake up. Now it stopped being funny, right? We miss 13 years of experience, learning, grow, giving, sharing, exploring new places.

We like to repeat over and over again that Life is short and we have short time to live. Wouldn’t it be great to start saying Life is long enough to accomplish whatever I can dream of.

YOU’VE GOT TIME!